RE survivor Gameshow
by SilentShade5
Summary: The characters of RE face off in the competition to win 1000000 dollars
1. The cast and finding the campsites

this is just a funky idea i had. I have two RE games.  
  
CH.1 the cast and finding the campsites  
  
Jill walked along the sidewalk to her new house on the outskirts of L.A.. Some guy whistled as she passed by. She was wearing a blue tank top and black skirt. " This is as far away from Raccoon city as it gets " she whispered to herself. Jill went inside her house and found a note attached to her fridge. It read: Come to Raccoon city for the ultimate oppertunity. Jill finished reading the note and pondered this. " It might be a trap " she said to herself. The note had a supply list. Jill needed clothes for 39 days, a gun with lot's of ammo, a luxury item, and if she had no ammo she could buy some at the destination. Jill gathered her clothes, her handgun, ammo, and 1000 bucks. Jill had struck rich when she received her paycheck from the RPD. Jill drove to Raccoon city which was 2 hours away. She parked outside the city and readied her gun. Then a small tube landed infront of Jill. " What the fuck--ooohhh i'm pretty tired " mumbled Jill as she was knocked out by sleeping gas.  
This happened to 15 other people. " Holy crap Jill is hot " someone was saying. Jill was drowsy so she was still to tired to open her eyes. She fell back to sleep wondering what the hell was going on. It seemed like hours when Jill finallly opened her eyes. She was seated in a chair across from chief Irons. " Chief Irons what the hell is going on " said Jill. The chief motioned for someone to do something. Just before a gas mask came onto Jill's head Chief Irons spoke. " You have a fine body Jill " he said before Jill went black again. This time when she woke up 15 other people were seated around the room. There was Carlos, Claire, Nikholai, Ada, Rebecca, Leon, Mikhail, Chris, Brad, Barry, Wesker, Nemesis, Mr.x, Nosferatu, and Tyrant.  
They were all wondering what was going to happen next.  
Chief Irons entered the room and addressed the group. "You have all been gathered here to compete in a competition of massive proportions. It will take 39 days to detemine who is the ultimate survivor". Then he told the group what tribe they would be in. The RPD tribe consisted of Claire, Nikholai, Rebecca, Mikhail, Chris, Wesker, Mr.x, and Nosferatu. The STARS tribe was: Jill, Carlos, Ada, Leon, Brad, Barry, Nemesis, and Tyrant. Nemesis smiled at having the hottest RE chick in his tribe. Chief Irons then told them where they were to camp. He gave one member per tribe a map. Carlos read the map and was delighted when he spotted the campsite. It was in Raccoon park. Tribal council would be in the trolley. All the survivors packed up their gear and moved out. The two tribes had received food and dishes for the game. Carlos led the way to the park with map in hand. A group of zombies found them and cheered as the tribe walked by. " Go Jill " screamed a zombie. While others wanted Chris to win. Even one zombie was rooting for Brad. That was a first. Jill and Barry carried the dishes and food while the others carried the personal gear. The RPD tribe was headed for the clock tower. But they came to a difficulty when MR.x dropped the food stuff into the sewers. " OOHH shit " shouted MR.X. He dove into the sewers and brought the food up. It was still okay. The tribe reached the clock tower and settled down to rest and celebrate the arrival. Meanwhile Carlos had found the campsite and the tribe settled down. Jill and Leon went exploring to find the water source. After 10 minutes Leon spotted a pool of water and jumped in the air. " yess " he said to Jill. After Jill and Leon had gotten back the tribe went about looking for food. Berries were around the park, and there was a meat shop down the street. The tribe raided the shop and brought back lot's of meat. Ada then started handing out orders. " Carlos get a fire started, Brad find a place to put our meat, Jill get our water " she barked. " Bitch " muttered Jill as she walked to get water. Leon then began scheming with Nemesis. " Ada is being a total bitch " Leon whispered. Nemesis nodded and showed him his scar from when he cut himself on barbed wire while picking berries. " STARS " he remarked. " I know but let's try to get some more people on our side " Leon whispered again. Nemesis lumbered away to find some people. " Hey nemesis, try Jill " said Leon. Nemesis nodded and went to find Jill.   
Back at the RPD camp the tribe was performing the duties to get a meal that night. They had found plenty of food in the clock tower's restaurant. Nikholai was snoozing and letting everyone else do the work. " Nikholai how about helping us " called Chris. " No I have other business to attend to " he answered. The next day Chris told Mikhail about his plan. " We should take Nikholai out " said Chris. " I agree, hes done nothing but sit on his ass so far " answered Mikhail. The two tribes both checked there mail box. Jill and Nemesis left to open the mailbox. It was in a tree higher than any of STARS' members. Jill climbed onto Nemesis' back to reach the mailbox. " Thanks bud " said Jill. Nemesis nodded. He was glad to help a chick in need.  
  
next time on RE survivor gameshow. The tribes engage in a reward challenge and an immunity challenge. Tension is created between Carlos and Tyrant.  
thanks to all my reviewers. 


	2. The first challenges

I have two resident evils. Enjoy the story  
  
CH. 2 first challenges.  
  
Jill read the tree mail to the other memebers of her tribe. It told of survival skills being used in a cooperative challenge. The tribe pondered this and tried to think of possible challenges. Leon knew that they had the strongest monsters of the game. The two tribes met at a parking lot by the hospital. Chief Irons was waiting for them. " Welcome to the first reward challenge " he said. He gestured to some equipment left of him. " To win this challenge you must fire a ball from the cannon into someone's basket. " Carlos, Nikholai, you have been randomly selected to use the cannon first " he continued. Jill was excited for the challenge and wondered why it was so easy. " When you get the ball into someone's basket you switch places with that person " . " Once you have switched with that person he or she can't catch a shot from your cannon " . The survivors were eager to begin. " Want to know what your playing for? " asked the chief. " SSTTTAARRSS " cried Nemesis. " Okay, your all playing for this " he said uncovering a basket. The survivors jumped with glee at the thought of winning. There was enough chocolate to eat for a day straight. " Well this challenge will be a little harder " said the chief. Jill wondered what he was talking about. Chief Irons continued telling them what was up. " Please grab your gun and all the ammo you want " he said. Jill walked over and grabbed her handgun along with 50 extra bullets. She looked at her tribe's guns. Carlos had an assault rifle, Ada had a magnum, Leon had a Glock, Brad had a Beretta, Barry had a shotgun, and Nemesis and Tyrant had nothing seing as they were monsters. " Now every 30 seconds that pass by 40 more zombies will come into the arena plus we'll make it rain " cackled Chief Irons. Then the rain came down. The tribes felt the cold water come down on them. " Now the zombies are genetically altered to try and pin you to the ground, if you are pinned for 30 seconds you are eliminated from the challenge ". " Survivors ready, go" he shouted. Carlos fired the cannon and the ball landed in Jill's basket. " That a girl " cried the team as Jill switched places with Carlos. The other tribe's first shot fell and impacted the pavement. " Come on catch it " shouted Nikholai. Jill fired the cannon and missed everyone. On her second shot Jill managed to get the ball into Brad's basket. Then the timer hit 30 seconds. Twenty zombies poured onto the pavement. Jill got out her handgun and blasted the zombies in the head. Barry was backing Jill up with his shotgun. Ada turned and got out her Magnum. With it she blew apart zombie heads. While Jill, Barry, and Ada kept the zombies busy Nemesis and Tyrant caught a ball. The score was 2-0 in favor of the STARS tribe. The game was over after all the tribe's team members were pinned. The timer hit one minute. Jill reloaded and continued fighting. Brad stopped and froze. He was looking at Jill's boobs. Her nipples were erect. " Holy shit " he said dreamily as he tried to touch them. Jill backed away and slapped him. " Snap out of it chickenshit " she said to the hurt Brad. He wouldn't. The zombies grabbed him and pinned him. Jill saw a ball flying through the air. She dove and caught the ball. She was falling down when Nemesis caught her in mid-air with his tentacle. " Thanks " whispered Jill. " STARS " replied Nemesis. The RPD tribe then caught two balls over the next 20 seconds. The score after 5 minutes was STARS 6 and RPD 4. The RPD had lost Mikhail and Wesker. Claire dodged zombies and blasted some with her handgun. She wanted that chocolate. MR.X and Nosferatu were holding there own but were being overwhelmed. Now zombies came every 15 seconds. Nosferatu took a swing at a zombie and fell down. The monster got dummy piled. MR.X tried to get them off but Nosferatu was pinned. Meanwhile Carlos was mowing down zombies with his assault rifle. It clicked empty. He inserted a new clip and emptied it into the mass of zombies. They STARS had lost Brad, Tyrant, Leon, and Barry. Jill caught another ball and ran over to fire the cannon. Nemesis tore into the zombies with amazing strength Carlos and Nemesis were holding the zombies off while Jill fired a shot and the ball landed in Ada's basket. Jill inserted her last clip and started picking off zombie heads. The score was 10-6 for STARS. Chris tried to protect Nikholai but the two were dragged down. Rebecca and MR.X were the only ones left. MR.X fired the cannon and Rebecca backed up to catch it. She stumbled into the zombies and was pinned. MR.X also was overwhelmed by to many zombies. " DING DING DING " rang a bell. The game was over. The STARS had won. The tribe celebrated and took the chocolate gratefully. Jill, Nemesis, Carlos, and Ada were not pinned by the zombies. The tribe feasted on one chocolate bar each back at camp. Jill sat with Leon and discussed matters of the game while eating. " Who are you voting for? " asked Jill. " Ada " whispered Leon. " I have Nemesis with me " he continued. " Oh, I hate Ada " whispered Jill. " She is such a bitch " she continued. " Jill " said Leon. " What? " replied Jill. " your really hot " said Leon. " Thanks " Jill shoved him and shook his hand. " Alliance " " yep alliance " the two agreed. Jill and Leon walked back to camp when they saw Carlos and Ada fighting. " Your such a fruit " cried Ada. " You can't tell me what to do lady , I'll do it myself " shot back Carlos. " Fuck you " shouted Ada. She stormed off and Carlos went to get water. Jill looked at Leon and nodded toward Ada. Leon nodded back and went off. Nemesis and Trant had heard what happened. Apparently Ada was ordering Carlos around like he was a slave so Carlos took it to her. The RPD tribe was a great family and tried to forget about the loss. The next day the tribes had more tree mail. Brad read the letter to the STARS. It said something about being able to find things. Barry and Jill exchanged puzzled looks. Nemesis talked to Leon. " STARS " said Nemesis. " Yes Neme Jill's with us " answered Leon. Nemesis was happy to hear this. The tribes met at the facility for the immunity challenge. " Survivors this is the immunity idol " said Chief Irons. He held up a golden STARS handgun and placed it on the table next to him. The tribes were in the disposal room. " Now today's challenge will be won by the tribe with the best eyes " he continued. He told them the rules. " Two tribe members will be blindfolded, one will walk around under the direction of the tribe and the other will hold a box to carry the items in ". Basically the tribe would be the eyes of the two members. Carlos and Barry prepared to be blindfolded while Nikholai and Wesker went for RPD. " Survivors ready, go " boomed Chief Irons. A computer screen flashed on and showed the first item. Jill spotted it right away. " Carlos go straight " she called. Carlos went forward. " Now bend down and pick it up " called Jill again. Carlos picked up the item and placed it in Barry's box. The RPD was having problems. Nikholai overshot the item and fell down. Then in the next two minutes RPD had two out of three items. The STARS found another item. Then the RPD had the item. Chris was putting the parts together. Nemesis got the pieces and built the gun. But Chris fired the gun and hit a target. " YYEEAAHH " cried the RPD. " RPD win! " cried Chief Irons. He handed them the idol. " See you at tribal council STARS " he coaxed. Jill and the STARS trudged back to Raccoon park in shame. Jill, Leon, and Nemesis confirmed the plan to vote Ada off. The other members had other thoughts. Barry wanted to keep Ada in because of her Magnum. The tribe packed up their stuff and walked to the trolley. " Good evening survivors " said chief Irons. " Please take a torch and shove it " he said. All the STARS looked at him goofy. " No I mean light it in the fire " said chief Irons pointing to an oil drum in the middle of the trolley. Brad tripped and his pants caught on fire. They burned off and Brad was left in his boxers. " Shit " cried Brad. All the other STARS laughed it up before sitting down. " One by one you will go into the other trolley car and read your vote ". Jill was first. She went through the door and wrote Ada on the paper. " Ada I just think your a bitch who thinks she can boss us around " said Jill she folded her vote and placed it inside a box. The STARS all voted. " I'll go tally the votes " said chief Irons. The STARS waited. Chief Irons came back and addressed the group. " Once the votes are read the decision is final, the person voted out will be asked to leave because they are a stupid fuck " he continued. The first vote was Ada, second was Ada, third was Carlos, fourth was Carlos, fifth was Carlos, sixth was Ada, and seventh was Ada. " Chief Irons read the last vote. " The first person voted out is Ada, I need you to bring me your torch ". " Why the fuck did I get it in the first place " said Ada as she stormed out of the trolley. " fire is your life in this game, you guys can head back to camp, and Brad put some pants on ". Brad blushed and led the way outside.  
  
next time on survivor gameshow. The RPD gets a visit from pesky intruders and the tribes engage in more physical challenges. 


	3. Heating up

CH. 3 heating up  
  
On day four the tribes received more tree mail. The STARS were again puzzled by it's explanation. Jill liked all the people she was with. The tribes hiked to the restaurant for the reward challenge. " I wonder what it will be today " said Leon. " STARS STARS " answered Nemesis. " Good evening " said Chief Irons. " Today you will be playing for this " he continued. The chief showed them. " Fishing nets and bait, don't worry the virus has been totally wiped away ". " Now you will take turns eating.... hunter B blood ". Barry almost puked. " You will come up one by one to drink down your glass of Hunter blood, whichever tribe gets done the fastest wins the reward ". The STARS picked Nemesis to start things off. Claire was going up for the RPD. Nemesis drank down the first glass in 2 seconds. Claire took a little longer. Nemesis tagged Leon and Leon drank his glass down. The tribes were dead even coming to Jill and Nikholai. " Go Jill " said Brad. He had drank his glass before. Jill took a deep breath and downed the blood. Jill switched with Barry. Barry took a long time to drink his glass. In that time MR.X and Nosferatu drank down their glasses and won the game. The RPD cheered in triumph. " Here are your fishing nets " called Chief Irons. On the way back Nemesis talked to Jill. " STARS STARS " asked Nemesis. " Of course I forgive you for trying to kill me " answered Jill. She hated his guts before but now he wasn't so bad. The STARS attended to the day's chores. Carlos was climbing a tree when the branch he was standing on broke. " AAHH " he cried as he hit the dirt. " OWWW amigos that hurt " said Carlos. Brad and Leon rushed over to help the poor Carlos. Tyrant cut down some trees and made a fire to cook the day's food on. The RPD used the fishing nets and caught 20 nice, fat fish. They chowed down and talked. " I think we should stick together Chris " whispered Mikhail.   
" Sure " answered Chris. Rebecca and Claire swam in the pool by the tower. " What do you miss most Claire?" asked Rebecca. " I think the house " answered Claire. " What do you think of Mikhail ?" came another question. Claire thought for a bit. " I think he is okay ". The two girls changed and went back to camp. Chris poked his finger on the stick he was using and cut his finger. " FUCK " he yelled. MR.X quickly sat on his finger. The immense pressure closed the cut in five minutes, but not before MR.X let out a huge fart. " YOU PIG " cried Chris before he passed out from the stink wave. The RPD settled down for the night and slept. The STARS hung out the next day and got food. Leon, Jill and Nemesis planned to vote Brad off next because he was a pussy. " EEEKKK " cried Brad. " Rrraarr " asked Tyrant. " There's a bug in my soup " screamed Brad like a little girl. Tyrant grabbed the bug and ate it. Brad fainted. " What a wussy " commented Barry. Yes the next person out would be Brad. The two tribes settled down for the night. The STARS stayed up singing campfire songs. Brad started a song. " Oh she'll be coming round the-- " BANG a pistol fired and hit Brad's foot. " Any song but that " said Jill. Brad wimpered and hid behind Nemesis. The next day Barry read the tree mail. It told of having to engage physically with the other tribe. " Yes, we get to kick the other tribe's ass personally " said Leon. Jill liked the idea of kicking some RPD asses. the two tribes met on the rooftops by the RPD. The RPD's courtyard had been sealed and filled with water. Planks floated on the water. Two boxes were beside each other, one representing each tribe. Chief Irons was between them. " Welcome survivors, today's immunity challenge will involve the tribe's members running across these planks and grabbing an item from the other side. Then you will bring it back here and put it into your box. The first to ten wins " he stopped to catch his breath.  
" There is a clearly marked area in black, it is the attack zone, you can knock other people into the water while in the attack zone. If you make contact with an opposing tribe member before touching the attack zone you will sit out the rest of the challenge. Now only two tribmates can go at a time ". The tribes were anxious to begin. " Survivors ready, go " called Chief Irons. Jill and Carlos went first for STARS. Jill ran to the boat carefully, picked up a golden zombie head and started back. She met Claire in the attack zone. " Bring it on bitch " teased Jill. " Fuck you Jill " answered Claire. Claire attacked Jill. Jill just grabbed Claire and threw her into the water. Damn, thought Leon all the hotness and muscles to go with it. Jill triumphantly placed the first item into STARS' box. Carlos came after and Barry went out with Nemesis. MR.X shoved Barry into the water. They had met on the attack zone.  
Nemesis picked up MR.X and threw him into the water. Almost squishing Barry. Nemesis proceeded to take out Chris when Chris tried to get by. The happy monster got his item and deposited it into STARS' box. Brad went next with Tyrant. Brad stepped onto the attack zone and got ragged into the water by Mikhail. Tyrant then pushed Mikhail underneath the foaming water. Brad frantically splashed the water. He got out of the way just in time as Tyrant was catapulted into the waves by Nosferatu. Tyrant and Brad got out and Jill and Carlos went on. Jill attacked Rebecca in the attack zone. Rebecca splashed into the water. Jill got her item and followed Carlos. Carlos stood on the attack zone and tried to take down Chris. Chris flung Carlos into cold water. Jill stepped up and pushed Chris ontop of Carlos. Jill got the item to the box. The STARS were winning 8-4 after five minutes. Jill had been soaked by MR.X and went onto the attck zone against Mikhail. Mikhail went forward in a headbutt. Jill pushed his head and sent him flying into the water. " Good one Jill " called Leon. Jill and Carlos returned the last two items. " The STARS win " cried Chief Irons. Jill took the immunity idol and held it high in triumph.  
The RPD went to the trolley. " Please take a torch " said Irons. The RPD proceeded to vote. Mikhail read his vote and spoke. " Nikholai I don't like the way you have been acting lately so your out of here ". Chief Irons read the votes and brought the box into the trolley's rear. " Once the votes are read the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area. I'll now read the votes ". Nikholai, Nikholai, Claire, Chris, MR.X, Nikholai, Nikholai. The vote was sure to be Nikholai. " The second person voted out is Nikholai " Chief Irons covered his mouth and giggled. " What " asked Nikholai while he doused his torch. " You suck " answered the chief. Nikholai grabbed his knife and tried to stab the chief. A sniper had been posted on the area. He pulled the trigger and hit Nikholai with a sleeping dart. With Nikholai silenced the RPD went back to camp.  
  
next time on survivor. The tribes have to endure the most physical challenge yet. 


	4. Pesky visitors

CH.4 pesky visitors  
  
Carlos wiped the sweat from his face. He had been hauling water all day. His arms ached and his legs were ready to fall off. After returning to camp Carlos took a chocolate bar and ate it. He heard somethin in the bushes. Jill heard it as well and readied her pistol. A little monkey came into the camp. It was zombified. It grabbed what chocolate that was left and ran away. " I'll teach you little bitch " said Jill. Jill fired some rounds but did not hit the monkey. " Shit " cried Jill. The other tribe members went back to the daily chores. Nemesis hauled wood for the fire. He was confident that his alliance with Jill and Leon would hold. The tribe received tree mail. It said something about lifting heavy objects that were in the camp now. Jill, Leon, and Nemesis pondered this and decided to wait for the challenge. The tribes gathered along a long street. " good afternoon survivors " said Chief Irons. The tribes waited for what they would do next. " Now I will choose the heaviest members from each tribe " he continued. Nemesis and MR.X were chosen. " Now the tribes will carry this member, or drag him through the obstacle course. This shocked the tribes. Jill thought of how much Nemesis weighed. It would take a miracle. Chief Irons explained the course. The tribes would run down the first stretch of alley to a clearley marked area. The area was filled with zombies. They would have to drive through them. Next they would pull Nemesis up a sloping hill. After that the tribe would pull the member through a garbage laid alley. At long last the tribe will race to the finish. Chief Irons gave the tribes a minute for a game plan. Barry planned to use his shotgun to cut a path through the zombies. Jill would have her gun handy as well." Survivors ready, go " called Chief Irons. Jill and her tribemates picked up Nemesis. He was heavy.  
The STARS pulled ahead of the RPD and neared the den of zombies. Jill unholstered her handgun. She fired rounds at heads and tore into the zombies. Barry obliterated more zombies. The STARS pulled ahead. The RPD put down MR.X and opened fire together. The zombies went down and the race continued. Jill pulled ahead and grabbed Nemesis' head and pulled. " You need to lose some weight guy " said Jill. Nemesis was enjoying the ride while looking at Jill's nice boobs. " STARS " he replied. The STARS made it to the garbage alley. The garbage stank bad. No problems were met. The STARS carefully raced down the alley and crossed the finish line. " Yes " cried the weary STARS. " Okay STARS get warm blankets and pillows " said the chief. The tribes headed back. When the RPD came to the camp the same zombie monkey was stealing food. " I got it " cried Chris. He grabbed the monkey around the neck. Claire walked up to it and shot it in the head. " We must win the next challenge " said Mikhail. " I agree " replied Chris. Claire went off and started talking about recipes with Rebecca. MR.X and Nosferatu chopped wood. The day went on uneventful. The next day Rebecca woke up and spotted two eyes looking at her.  
" AAAHHH " cried Rebecca. She got her gun and fired. The eyes moved into the trees. Then more eyes came. " HELP " yelled Rebecca. She ran as fast as she could with the monkeys running after her. Chris saw this. He fired his Beretta and killed some. The RPD joined in the fighting. Hand to hand fights were breaking out everywhere. " Eat shit " cried Mikhail. He crushed the monkeys with his bare hands. MR.X was swarmed. The animals bit his ass one hundred times. " YYYAAAAWWWOOOOO " cried MR.X. He leaped high into the air. He slammed onto the ground and squished more monkeys. The zombies retreated and the RPD went to get the tree mail. Jill read her tribe's tree mail. The message was about thinking and memory. There was also no strength required. The tribes headed for the RPD again. An RPD officer hefted his MP5 alongside an Umbrella team member who had a M4A1. " Welcome to today's immunity challenge " said Chief Irons. He explained that the challenge was simple, they would sort the clips from the MP5 and M4A1 into different containers. Carlos planned to do all the M4A1 clips. " But now you must pick four people to do this challenge " said Chief Irons. The STARS chose Jill, Carlos, Leon, and Brad. The RPD chose Chris, Claire, Mikhail, and MR.X. " Survivors ready, go " called the chief. Carlos raced to the huge container. He started pulling out M4A1 clips and giving them to Jill. Jill got 20 and dropped them off. Leon grabbed some MP5 clips and followed suit. Brad could not tell the difference between clips. Chris and his team made steady progress. Chris knew both clips and was handing them out. MR.X slipped and a clip fell into the sewers. He looked at the chief dumbfounded. " Go get it you fag " called the chief. MR.X busted his way into the sewers and retrieved the clip. This sorting continued for 10 minutes. Jill ran to the container with the last clip and placed it. " YYEESS we won " cried Jill as she rejoiced with her teammates. " RPD I will see you at tribal council tonight " said Chief Irons. Back at camp the RPD were melancholy as they grabbed the torches. Chris prayed he would not get voted off, Mikhail shit his pants, Rebecca fainted, and MR.X meditated. They reached the bus and were greeted by Chief Irons. " Holy shit Mikhail, did you take a dump in your pants?"  
asked the chief. " Yes " replied Mikhail. He was blushing from head to toe. The chief asked some questions and told Nosferatu to go vote. " RROOARra oaor roaoroa rorroa roroar aoroar " said Nosferatu as he held up his vote. The translation is: Mikhail you shitting your pants just grosses me out, have you heard of a bathroom?". The survivors all voted. Claire got out some air freshener because Mikhail's pants were rank. " Once I read the votes the decision is final, the person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area, i'll read the votes. ". said Chief Irons." Mikhail,Mikhail,Mikhail,Mikhail,Mikhail, i think we know who is gone " said Chief Irons. Mikhail put out his torch. " Get a shitter " called Chief Irons. The RPD trudged back to camp.  
  
next chapter the reward challenge is splendid.  
thanks to all reviewers 


	5. Awesome Reward

CH. 5 awesome reward  
  
The STARS awoke the next day and found some sticks on the ground of the campsite. Jill read the tree mail to the puzzled tribemates. It involved using the sticks to walk on something. The tribes headed for the Raccoon city outskirts. " Welcome Survivors " said Chief Irons. He unveiled the reward. It was a great looking feast with enough food to feed 20 people. " This is a great reward, you will compete using your sticks " he continued. Chief Irons explained that they would walk toward each other one by one , Then the tribe members will try to knock each other off their sticks. The first team to ten knock offs wins reward.  
" Survivors ready, go " called Chief Irons. Nemesis and MR.X were up first. They wobbled toward each other. Nemesis swung one of the legs of his sticks. MR.X toppled over and landed on his ass. Nemsis won. Next Jill and Rebecca went Jill went forward and Rebecca tripped her. Jill fell off and the score was tied. The tribes battled until the score was nine to nine. Tyrant knocked Chris off his sticks and won the challenge. " Fuck ya " cried Jill. The STARS enjoyed the awesome feast while the RPD went back to camp. " MMMMM this is so good " said Brad. Leon and Nemesis talked about strategy. " We will get rid of Brad if we lose immunity ok? " asked Leon. " STARS " said Nemesis.  
Back at the RPD camp Chris went psycho. " DAMN IT WE COULD HAVE WON " he yelled. Chris kicked over a statue and bitched about the loss for the rest of the day. MR.X had brought cards along as his luxury item so he and Nosferatu played some poker with Claire and Rebecca. " Call " declared Claire. Rebecca folded and Nosfreatu called. MR.X raised the bet to 100 bucks. Claire called and Nosferatu folded. MR.X waited and raised the pool again. Claire finaaly folded. " Damn I had a Royal flush, what did u have MR.X?" she asked.  
MR.X laid down his cards and showed them a pair. " Shit " said Claire. Meanwhile Chris had kicked over all the food containers and was working on a statue. " DAMN IT " he cried he kicked the statue and the head popped off. Chris smiled in triumph. The gargoyle head went up into the air and came crashing down on Chris' head. " Ow " said Chris. He fell over unconcious. " That should shut him up " said Wesker. Chris was out for the next day. " God he is lazy " said Rebecca.  
Back at the STARS camp Nemesis was cooking food. Jill helped him. " STARS " said Nemesis. " Your welcome " replied Jill. The STARS had full stomachs so they got to work early. The chores were done by noon.  
" Leon " called Jill. Leon walked over to where Jill was standing. " whats up " asked Leon. Jill explained to Leon about how to get rid of certain people. Leon was impressed when Jill finished. " I got it thanks for the advice " said Leon. " Don't mention it " answered Jill. Jill trotted off to hang out with other tribe members. Tyrant came with tree mail. He gave it to Leon and Leon read it. The letter said stuff about knowledge. The tribes met in the newspaper office. " Welcome to day 12 on RE survivor " said Chief Irons. He explained that the tribes would pick four people to do this challenge. The STARS picked Nemesis, Leon, Carlos, and Barry. The RPD picked MR.X, Rebecca, Chris, and Wesker. The challenge was simple. The survivors would be asked a question. If they got it wrong they would be eliminated from the game. The first tribe to get all their members out loses. " Okay first question. What Monster is not in RE3, A: Nemesis, B: Licker, C: hunter, or D: Drain Deimo " Everyone except Carlos picked b. Carlos was eliminated. The next question was which of the following guns are not available in RE2. Out of: Shotgun, Grenade launcher, Magnum and Minethrower. MR.X and Nemesis were wrong and eliminated. Two questions later there was only Wesker and Leon left. " How many RE games are there, A: 5, B: 4, C:6, or D:7 ". Wesker thought hard. He knew there were 4 for Playstation, 1 for dreamcast, and two for Gamecube. Wesker picked D. Leon picked C. " The answer is D " said Chief Irons. The RPD had won. " See you guys at tribal council " called Chief Irons to the STARS. The RPD celebrated as the STARS trudged to the bus.  
With the torches in place the STARS voted. Jill, Leon, and Nemesis voted for Brad. They waited for the last vote. " I will go read the votes " said Chief Irons. " First vote: your a piece of shit Brad " the STARS laughed. Brad was shaking in his boots. Brad,Brad, Tyrant, Tyrant. " The fourth person voted off...Brad " said Chief Irons. Brad picked up his bag and extinguished his torch. " Well you guys made a wise choice, you can head back to camp " said the chief. The STARS went back to camp.  
  
next time on RE survivor gameshow. The tribes endure a grueling storm.  
thanks to all my reviewers. 


	6. The storm

CH.6 the storm  
  
The tribes read the tree mail for the day's reward challenge. It said stuff about a race. They headed to the warehouse. " Welcome survivors " said Chief Irons. He explained that they would pick one person to do the challenge. The STARS picked Leon and the RPD picked Rebecca. " The two contestants will race through a zombie infested area with a weapon of their choice. First one to the end wins ". Leon chose a shotgun and Rebecca picked a machine gun. " On your mark, get set, go ". Cried the chief. Leon ran and picked up speed. He came upon the first group of zombies. They were playing cards. " Call " said an extremely horrid looking zombie. " hey.... holy shit he is here " cried another. They had spotted Leon. " Ok guys on three one two..." blam blam blam. Leon obliterated the zombies and continued on. Rebecca mowed down zombies like a lawnmower. Her pace was just a step under leon's. A hunter confronted Leon so he blasted it and ran away. His foot got caught on an iron bar.   
Leon dropped his gun and watched teeter over an edge of a broken window. He jumped and caught the weapon. Leon was home free. He crossed the line and won the challenge. " Great job Leon " said Jill as she hugged him. " Alright STARS you guys get this great fishing net to use whenever you want " said the chief. He handed it to Leon. When the STARS got back a slight wind was coming up. " We better find shelter " suggested Carlos. Jill and everyone except Nemesis, Tyrant, and Barry went inside a small shack north of the campsite. " Wimps they have no taste of adventure " said Barry. " STARS Stars STars " said Nemesis. Then the wind picked up. Barry flew across the campsite and he slammed into a truck. " Ow shit that hurts " he cried. Barry was being held in place by the winds. Nemesis just stood there because his body weight was holding him down. Tyrant fell over and slid into a river. " groar groar groaaaarrr " he spluttered. Nemesis went and lifted him out of the water. Unfortunately the shed that the other STARS were hiding in was literally ripped from the ground. " OHHH shit " muttered Jill. She flew and got caught in a tree. The branches held Jill in position. Carlos grabbed a tree stump and held on for dear life. A zombie head rolled around like tumbleweed and landed infront of Carlos. " AAAHHH " yelled Carlos. His grip failed and he slid into a gate. He was pinned. One of Jill's braws flew and landed on his head. " OOoooo momma " he said, his mouth full of braw.  
At the RPD things were just as bad. Nosferatu had a tentacle around Wesker's neck. " Loosen up buddy " choked Wesker. The monster loosened his grip giving Wesker some breathing space. Chris was hiding behind a statue. " No way i'm gonna get blown away " he declared. Then a statue head fell on his noggin. Chris went out like a light. His limp body was ragged around the campsite. Mr.X just stood with his body weight weighing him down. Chris flew and his head connected with MR.X's crotch. It looked like he was giving MR.X a blow job. Claire spotted this and burst out laughing. Herself and Rebecca were safely crouched inside a wrecked car. Rebecca giggled and dug inside her bag for something.  
After the storm both camps were a wreck. Nemesis helped Jill climb down from the tree. Leon crawled out of the garbage can he had taken refuge in. The campsite was strewn with stuff. Braws, boots, toothbrushes, Playboy, a toy bunny, and other items were among the things laying around. Carlos had a grin on his face all day. The tribe's food had amazingly landed in a garbage can and was intact. After the cleanup Jill got the letter for the immunity challenge. It read: Use your energy wisely, and try to win the race. If your body fails you. You will find yourself in last place. As she finished Jill thought about this with her alliance pals. " Well it looks like a race " concluded Leon. Nemesis nodded and flexed his bulging muscles. Some women zombies oohed and awwed. Nemesis smiled and turned back to Leon. " Well we are all pretty tired " commented Jill. " True " answered Leon. The tribes met on the outskirts of Raccoon city.  
" Welcome survivors, today's challenge will be simple. Run around the city as many times as possible. If one of your tribemates is still standing that tribe wins " The whiste blew. The tribes ran like the wind. Tyrant collapsed after 3 feet. The RPD were dropping like flies after 2 runs of the city. Soon enough Leon, Jill and Wesker were left. Leon fell. " No Leon get up " pleaded Jill. " Run on Jill " said Leon. " Wow Jill has gotten hotter than ever " thought Leon. Jill turned and ran after Wesker. She caught up and kept running. Her muscles were aching. Wesker was trying not to give into the cramp he had developed on step into the race. He gave and fell into the dirt. Jill ran a few steps then declared victory. The STARS congratulated Jill on her win. " Well done STARS you can head back to camp, RPD head to tribal council " called Chief Irons. Leon and Carlos Carried Jill back to camp.  
At tribal council the RPD waited and waited for the chief. Then Chris heard voices in the other car. " Ohh yes yes " said some chick. He opened the door to find Chief Irons doing some slut. " Oh is it time " asked Chief Irons. " Yes sir " replied Chris. The chief cam into the other car. " Well it is time to vote " he said. He told them to vote in the front car. He went back and started fucking the girl again. After the votes were placed in the jar. Chris knocked on the door again. " Go away can't you tell i'm busy " yelled chief Irons Chris shrugged his shoulders and read the votes. Wesker,Wesker,Wesker,Wesker. " Shitty gameshow anyways " snapped Wesker. A Licker knocked him out and dragged him away. The RPD then headed back to camp. 


	7. Dive!

CH. 7 Dive!  
  
  
Jill opened her eyes and stretched. The other STARS were laying around sleeping. Jill's eyes landed on her braw. It covered Carlos' face. " That bastard, pervert " Jill retorted. She walked over to him. Jill gave him such a slap that it wke up the other STARS. " OWW what the hell did you do that for " Jill held up her braw. " oh " moaned Carlos. Nemesis grabbed his trenchcoat and put it on. After breakfast the tribes met at the bar. A tv was against the far wall. Cheif irons came in a minute later. " Welcome to day...er um day whatever " Then he explained the rules of the reward challenge. The tribes would get 30 mins to videotape two awesome or gross events.  
The STARS rushed back to camp. After convincing Jill they set up the camera. Jill stood in the shot but naked. She started moving like a stripper. " Wooo I love that sexy lady " cried Leon. Jill steppped out the shot and got on her clothes. The other STARS drooled all over the ground. Next they took a shot of nemesis falling out of a tree into a pile of shit. After a thorough washing nemesis was fine. They rushed back to the bar and gave Chief Irons the tape. Back at the RPD Rebecca had one event already. The second thing would be Wesker's tightrope walk. Wesker's face showed the pain and determination to win the challenge. He suddenly fell..and landed on a trampoline. The bounce effect sent him high up he landed on the tightrope...with his crotch. " aaahhh ropeburn " screamed Wesker. The RPD were laughing their heads off. When Wesker was safely down they hurried back to the bar.  
The chief played the STARS tape. The men of the tribes loved the first part. The RPD tape played. After a laugh-filled aftermath the real kicker played. During the storm Rebecca had taped Chris while he got ragged right into MR.X's crotch. The whole bar erupted in laughter. " Hahahaha what a fag " cried Chief Irons. The judges ruled that the RPD won. They won a box of ammo. The tribes headed back to camp. " Don't worry Jill I loved your part " said Leon comforting Jill. Jill smiled and went to get firewood. Tyrant was using his luxury item. A deck of cards to teach Nemesis how to play poker. While Carlos was looking at his luxury item. A miss world magazine. " ooh miss usa his hot " said Carlos. Barry sat with him and looked in awe.  
The RPD was celebrating the win. While Wesker held his crotch. Chris was furious. " WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TAPE THAT LAST PART FOR ?" he shouted at Rebecca. She just giggled and told him for fun. MR.X was blushing for the rest of the day.That night Chris slept close to the fire. A little too close because his sleeping bag caught on fire. " Owww hot hot,hoooooottt " cried Chris. He slapped the fire until it went out. In his sleep Chris was dreaming of hot sex.  
That day the tribes met at a lake outside the city. " Welcome once again..yada yada you know the rest " said Chief Irons. He gestured to the lake. " Today you will dive into the murky water and grab different objects. Once the tribe had all the items they had to figure out a puzzle using the objects. The survivors made ready. " Oooo Jill looks hot in that bikini eh Nemesis " whispered Leon. Nemesis nodded and blushed. His face actually broke into a smile.  
First up were Leon and Claire. Leon took a graceful dive and went underneath the waves. He scraped the bottom and finally grasped something. He pulled himself to land and tagged with Jill. As Jill slipped into the water Leon took a look at what he had. It was a crank. Claire tagged with Chris so he jumped into the water. Jill burst out of the water in such a beauty that everyone present stared at her. Jill threw a wheel at Nemesis. He caught it.  
The tribes stayed quite close coming down to the last pair. Nemesis and Mr.X. Nemesis nodded and so did his adversary. They both ran and jumped into the water in a cannonball. The water splashed around and lost half of its supply. This drenched everyone. Leon smiled and saw that he could see right through Jill's bikini. Nemesis quickly found the last item. The tribes put there heads together and thought.  
They had a crank, a wheel, a top, a miniature merry-go-round,a disc, and a clock. After 20 minutes Leon declared the answer was they all turned. The RPD heard this and sent Chris to tell the answer to Chief Irons. " RPD wins immunity, i will see you at tribal council STARS " said the host. At tribal council Jill, Nemesis, and Leon agreed to vote off Barry because he has been so lacking lately. " Well well two challenges in a row " scoffed Chief Irons. " You guys sucked today " he declared. The survivors voted. Barry, Barry, Carlos,Carlos, Barry, Carlos, and Barry. This is how Chief Irons read the votes. Barry sulked out the door and the STARS headed back to camp. 


	8. BRrrr! its cold in here

Ch.8 brrrrrr! its cold in here  
  
Chief Irons gathered the two tribes together by the public pool. " today's reward challenge will be for a lot of food." The STARS tribe were eager to begin. The chief explained that they would swim as many laps of the pool as possible. " Now the first to swim the most breasts..I mean laps will be declared the winner. He was staring across the pool at the women in their very nice bikinis. "But first...." he added. Carlos was tense. Chief Irons snapped his fingers and a rain of ice fell into the pool. Everyone gasped at the thought of swimming in that ice." If just one of your tribemates finishes then the whole tribe wins." declared the host. The survivors then commenced with the challenge. Nemesis dropped like a stone to the bottom of the pool. He struggled to get above but couldn't. In the nick of time one of Nemesis' tentacles surfaced and Nemesis found he could breath with it. He used this advantage to walk from one end of the pool to the other. Jill on the other hand felt like she was being stabbed by a thousand knives but she forced her slender body to swim as fast as she could.  
  
Rebecca was swimming slowly when she saw a small poker sticking out of the water. " Ohhh must be a dildo" she whispered to herself as she plunged the thing into her pussy. On the bottom of the pool Nemesis felt a surge of excitement and started sucking. He continued on anyways. Soon Mr.X, Claire, Carlos and Jill were out of the race. Nemesis, Tyrant, Rebecca, and Nosferatu were still left. But something happened. Rebecca ran out of juice and went dry. She had no energy to swim so she was eliminated. Nosferatu finally gave up. Tyrant and Nemesis climbed out of the pool victorious. The RPD left with nothing and the STARS carried home the food in triumph. At the RPD camp Chris blew up again. " Oh fuck why the fuck can't we win anything!!!!!!!!!" he boomed. Nosferatu and Mr.X towered above him and gave him menacing looks." uh I guess I will go masterbate now." Chris ran but not fast enough as Nosferatu grabbed his legs. Mr.X laughed as he commenced operation SHUT CHRIS UP.  
  
  
  
The STARS had a feast. Leon,Nemesis,and Jill discussed strategy while Tyrant and Carlos played poker. " I think we should try as hard as possible to win the immunity challenge" said Jill. Nemesis nodded and said.."STARS." Leon also agreed. Meanwhile back at the RPD camp the tribe was laughing like crazy when they saw operation SHUT CHRIS UP. Mr.X had knocked Chris out with a punch and Nosferatu had planted him up in a tree. Claire and Rebecca delivered the knockout punch by dressing him up in Claire's clothes. "Mrefffefeeff" screamed Chris as he struggled to untie himself through a gag. Mr.X lowered Chris into a clearing and waited. Sure enough zombies started gathering around Chris. " Hehehehe " they laughed. " We should kill him for my brother he shot " declared one zombie. But that is not what they did. " MMrrrRRFFFFFFFFFFFFF " was Chris' last words. The flesh envelopped him.  
  
The STARS were busy playing cards while operation SHUT CHRIS UP was going on. Then a zombie walked up to them. " Pardon me madam and sirs " he began. " The zombie entertaiment has arrived." " Alright!" exclaimed Carlos. The STARS watched in laughter as the zombies threw themselves off rooftops, had a paintball fight, and pretended to be gay. The entertainers marched off shortly after the show had begun. Chris lay on the ground almost dead after the humping he had endured at the hand of the zombies. He got up and read the treemail before returning to the campsite.  
  
At the STARS camp tyrant read the mail as well. the challenge was a simple guessing game. The tribes assembled at the mall. Chief Irons grinned as he walked in. " I heard about what the zombies did to you Chris." he said as he collapsed onto the floor laughing. Chris just blushed and rubbed his back and ass. Chief Irons explained that the tribes would answer questions and try to get a better score than the other tribe. " First question, what is Nemesis' favorite pastime?" the tribes thought about the question and answered. The STARS said drinking and the RPD said Masterbating. The RPD got it wrong.  
  
The next question was. " Who would Chris go out with out of all the women from the start of the game. Both tribes said Jill. They both got it right. Jill flashed Chris a sexy smile that mad him pop a boner. After two more questions the RPD led by one point but the last question was worth two points. " Last question, what is Leon's favorite colour?" The STARS selected purple and the RPD chose pink. The answer was.............PURPLE! the STARS won the immunity challenge.  
  
Leon swore and vowed revenge on Chief Irons for revealing his favorite colour. While the STARS walked back to camp the RPD skulked yet again to the wrecked bus. Two lickers were busy fucking each other when Chief Irons came in. " Would you mind?" he asked pointing out. " Oh sorry said the male licker and the pair left. " Well this is pathetic " said the Chief. Then the tribes voted. Chris was voted out of the tribe. " Goodbye RPD you fuckers " cried the Chief.  
  
next episode: the tribes finally merge and are presented a fine reward challenge 


	9. Merger

I used to own re3 2 and 1 i dont anymore. This is my fourth fic. I have begun work on a Halo fic called Halo: harvest battles. My other resident evil fics are: nemesis and tyrant's game vacation,swat survivor,swat survivor 2. Enjoy!  
  
Ch.9 merger  
  
It was a sleepy morning in the RPD camp when Mr.X woke up. He decided to do a few chores while the others slept. First he washed the laundry, taking time to sniff the ladies' underwear. He got a shirt caught on his boot. He struggled with the shirt and tumbled over a small cliff. Fortunately his face took the blow and didn't harm his ass or legs. After tumbling for a little while he came to a stop beside a motorbike! It was brand new. Quickly he scanned the area and drove off. The other RPDs woke to the sound of an engine. Mr.X drove over a hill and cranked Nosferatu in the face. The impact of the creature sent Mr.X flying off the bike into a wall. " ooooooo thats got to hurt " said a surprised Claire. After peeling Mr.X off the wall Nosferatu raised his hand. " Mr.X how many fingers am I holding up " he wore a smirk when Mr.X counted one finger....the middle finger. " ROoooaooororrrrr " roared Mr.X as he layed the smackdown on Nosferatu.  
  
At the STARS campsite Carlos was flipping through a playboy magazine when all of a sudden a large white piece of bird shit fell from the sky and splashed onto the picture he was looking at. " What the....YOU ARE DEAD BIRD " he yelled. Quickly he got his assault rifle and shot at the bird. It flipped up a sign reading " Learn how to aim " on it. Carlos learned fast and blasted it out of the sky. It fell to the ground. Suddenly a dog popped up with the bird and gave it to Carlos. " What the--" began Carlos. " Good morning everyone " Chirped Leon. Jill walked over to him and they started a conversation. Meanwhile Nemesis and Tyrant returned with tree mail. The tribe found out that there was no reward challenge! This upset Leon very much. Instead the tribes would be meeting in the RPD courtyard.  
  
Later the tribes had been gathered at the RPD. Chief Irons stepped out of the shadows and greeted them. " Well today my tribes...you will merge into one tribe muhuahahahahahah " he cackled. " Also you will now compete alone " he said as he narrowed his eyes. Jill,Leon,and Nemesis all exchanged worried glances. " So today's immunity challenge will be rewarded by this " he picked up a nice necklace with a golden bullet in the middle and small zombie heads beside it. The tribe was eager to begin. Chief Irons explained the rules. They would all start in the center of the courtyard. From there they would run to their personal maze. They would navigate their piece of rope through the maze. When they were done an axe would release. From there they would use the axe to cut down a tree beside the maze table. When the tree was cut down a gun would fall from the tree. Next they would use the gun to kill one zombie in a pen. After the zombie stops moving the winner will be chosen.  
  
The survivors gathered at the center of the courtyard. " Survivors ready,...GO!" cried Chief Irons. Quickly the contestants rushed to their maze. Jill and Nemesis made great time and completed the maze easily. When Jill tried to cut down the tree her got stuck inside after ten swings. As she was trying to pry it out Nemesis one-armed the axe into the tree many times and finally succeded in cutting down the tree. He was followed by the other survivors. Jill opened up on the zombie with her gun. But the zombie just dodged the bullets so quickly that he left trails of himself behind. Jill thought she had seen that in a movie somewhere.  
  
Nemesis then opened a fusillade on his zombie. The thing bent over backward and the bullets seemed to go in slow motion. Nemesis scratched his head and continued his assault. Finally Nemesis killed the zombie and declared victory. " Nemesis is the winner and cannot be voted out tonight at tribal council " said Chief Irons. On the way back the RPD collected their things and brought their stuff to the STARS campsite. Carlos and Tyrant discussed the latest challenge. " My zombie ran along the walls " retorted Carlos. " Rooar raor rraooor (how can I hit a zombie that cartwheels around like a maniac)?" came Tyrant's reply. They continued chatting while Jill and Leon welcomed the RPD.  
  
" Welcome to the--" " Stuff it bitch " interrupted Claire. " Thats it I challenge you to a mud wrestling match ". Jill and Claire got into their bathing suits and prepared to square off. Meanwhile bets were being placed. Nemesis walked around the ring collecting bets(They had raided a bank and had plenty to bet with). " I will put 200 on Jill " declared Leon. Nosferatu challenged the bet and put another 200 bucks into the pot. Soon enough the winner of the bet would be getting $2000. Jill then turned to Claire and the match began. The men were mesmerized by the women wrestling around in the mud and tugging at each other's bathing suits. " Take it off " cried Carlos. The monsters roared with glee as Jill finally managed to pin Claire.  
  
" I declare Jill the winner " declared Leon. Jill raised her arms in victory. Then Claire reached up and tugged Jill's top off. The men stared for what seemed and age at the melons. " Fuck off bitch " cried Jill. She reached for a towel and walked off. " Yahoo " chimed Leon as he danced around with his money. " graoraoaora(Lucky son of a bitch)" mumbled Nosferatu. The survivors went back to camp. Jill plotted on how to get some revenge on Claire. The guys walked back to camp with a trance type look. After being washed off Jill sat down with Leon and Nemesis. " I say we should vote Rebecca off seeing as Jill wants to get some revenge on Claire " said Leon. Nemesis nodded and Jill also agreed.  
  
That night the tribe named Umbrella walked to the trolley. The votes were then cast. Chief Irons read the votes to them. " Rebecca " Rebecca then nodded and looked sad. " Wait wait now why the fuck does everyone nod when their name is read?" asked Irons. Rebecca shrugged along with everyone. " Alright but the next person that nods will be beaten to a pulp " warned Irons. " second vote is Nosferatu. As a reflex he nodded. " Thats it " declared Chief Irons. He whistled and five commandos with batons climbed into the trolley, took Nosferatu outside and started beating the living daylights out of him. Later even though it was thought impossible he looked even worse then before.  
  
He had a cut on his eye and bruises and scrapes everywhere. " Now let us finish this tribal council please " said an irritated Chief. He read the last votes and declared Rebecca was voted out. " Nooooo " wailed Rebecca as she ran out crying. The rest of Umbrella tribe went back to camp. 


	10. New Bike

I used to own three REs. Check out my four other fics including Halo:harvest battles.  
  
Ch.10 new bike  
  
The Umbrella tribe awoke to birds chirping and trees whistling in the wind. Nemesis got up and scratched his back. His feet pounded the ground as he walked over to the river and washed his face. He smelt the water and nearly barfed. It smelt like piss."STARS STARS STARS?" he roared. A zombie raised his hand and had a nasty smirk on his face. Nemesis roared and jumped across the river. The other zombies around turned their heads and waited for the blow but it didn't come. They turned back and saw the zombie unconcious. His head was on a tee. Nemesis had somehow gotten a golf club. He stood a few steps back. Then went forward and swung with all his might.........and........missed! Nemesis roared in anger and tried again. This time he smacked that head clear of the park. The zombies watched as the head hit Chief Irons in the head as he stepped out of his house." Dude that house is like 400 yards away!" exclaimed a zombie."STARS STARS Stars?" asked Nemesis."That's unbelieveable" answered the zombie.  
  
While Nemesis was golfing The rest of the tribe had awoken except Nosferatu. He continued to snooze until Jill booted him in the head."Wake up sunshine" she said. Jill smiled and trotted away. Nosferatu got up and headed over to the group. They talked for awhile and grabbed the tree mail. One person had not gotten up yet. It was Claire. Jill had secretly taken all of Claire's clothes in the middle of the night."That will teach her" was Jill's comment. Claire's eyes fluttered open to see Tyrant staring at her."AHHHH GET AWAY" screamed Claire. Tyrant wasn't the only one staring at Claire. All the men had gathered around her." EEEEK" screamed Claire. It took her a couple hours to finally find her clothes. She glared at Jill with anger. Jill smiled and continued talking to Leon and Carlos.  
  
Carlos read the tree mail to everyone.  
  
" If you hope to win this test,You must outsmart all the rest, To be the best and drive away at lest"  
  
"Yay" cheered the tribe. They would be getting a new vehicle. They walked to a large shopping mall. Chief Irons greeted them."Welcome to this reward challenge  
  
-"Shut up and tell us what we win!" shouted Carlos. "Um ok then" continued the Chief. He wheeled out a brand new 200cc Suzuki dirt bike. The survivors ooed and ahhhed at the vehicle. Irons explained that the survivors would run through the mall collecting a random list of items. He passed out the papers. Jill looked at hers and found a small drawing of a stick man pissing in another man's mouth. She covered her mouth and giggled. Nemesis looked at his list. There were ten items. A copy of Warcraft 3, a first aid spray, a gundam wing action figure model kit, and other items."Survivors ready.........GO!" cried Chief Irons. He sat down and rubbed his head where a zombie head had nailed him earlier that day.  
  
Carlos raced into Electronics Boutique looking for his first item. Nemesis also went in. " Out of the way Nemesis " said Carlos as he bumped Nemesis."STARS  
  
" yelled Nemesis. He picked up Carlos as tossed him into a game rack." Aww amigo" muttered Carlos before he was totally unconcious. Nemesis then turned and looked for Warcraft 3 but he couldnt read very well. Jill happened to walk by and lent him a hand by picking out his game. Nemesis said thanks and lumbered off. Jill spotted Carlos and laughed. She trotted off to find The Lord of The Rings.  
  
Mr.X was in the process of finding a Chilidog when he stumbled upon a Cd place. He found a cd and started listening to it. He danced around knocking over racks and such. The volume was loud as hell. He sat down jamming. He could barely hear the gunfight in the distance.  
  
Claire and Jill and found a gun shop and were firing at each other furiously. Jill brandished here pistol and fired three rounds at Claire. Claire ducked and called "Learn how to aim" and fired a machine gun burst in Jill's direction. Nosferatu charged into the fray with a sword he had found in Cutting Edge. It was very large and looked able to cut through steel. Jill smiled and sent a burst of pistol rounds into Nosferatu's chest. He went down in pain and lapsed into shock. Jill then turned and fired at a statue above Claire's head. The head fell of and conked Claire on the head."ooooohh" mumbled Claire before she fell asleep. Jill took this oppurtunity to raid Claire and Nosferatu's stuff for items she needed.  
  
Meanwhile Leon had found most of his items and headed into the animal place for a water bottle. He passed a cute little kitten and stopped."Hey there little guy" said Leon as he started to pet the kitten. It let Leon pet him for awhile then terror struck. The kitten latched onto Leon with his tiny claws."YYooowww get off me you prick aaaahhhh" yelled Leon as he desperately struggled to get the crazed animal off. He suddenly spotted a waterbottle and grabbed it. After that he started back to the main gates.  
  
Medical zombies were busy at the time helping awaken Claire,Nosfertau and Carlos."Kids these days" muttered one zombie to another."How about the old zombie blood treatment?" suggested the other zombie. The first zombie smiled and glanced at Carlos snoring away. Zombie number two broke his own arm off and poured a couple fingers of the blood into Carlos' nose. The man's eyes snapped open and he jumped from the shock."Fuck what was that you idiot" he demanded."Nothing" smiled the zombie as he placed his arm back into its socket."Why you-" Carlos started as he proceeded to break every bone in the zombie's body. Carlos stomped off to finish the challenge. The zombie he had wasted said "ow".  
  
By now three people had all the items on their list. Leon was first to get back to Chief Irons."Items please" said the chief. Leon placed them on a table. Mario Golf toadstool tour, a copy of Maxim, A handgun,A calculator,a camera,Duracell batteries, An Xbox, and a keyboard."Leon wins " declared Chief Irons."Yahoo" cried Leon. He did a victory dance and got onto the motorcycle. Leon called out to Jill."Wanna come for a ride?" Jill smiled and answered "Sure". She grabbed a helmet from a motorbike store and sat behind Leon. They drove off leaving the rest of the tribe to walk back. 


	11. The Jury

I have 2 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero and the remake and code veronica.  
  
Ch.11 The jury  
  
The Tribe of survivors felt really tired and fatigued. Jill tried to lift a water bucket but collapsed. Nemesis gave her a drink of water and lumbered off to find Leon. They had to stay together and they would win. The morning was uneventful with all the normal chores being done. Jill thought about a conversation she had had with Leon a day earlier.   
  
" We have to get rid of Claire in order to win" his voice echoed through her head. She thought again.  
  
" We have to get rid of-"  
  
"I heard you the first time Leon!" said Jill. Leon stepped out from behind the tree he was hiding behind and grinned. Jill smiled and called Nemesis over to talk about strategy.  
  
" Look at them! they are sooooo an alliance!" Claire said to Mr.X and Nosferatu. The two monsters agreed with Claire. They had to form an alliance or they would be doomed. There was one way the two groups of three could get a swing vote. Tyrant.  
  
Jill walked toward a large warehouse looking for Tyrant. Leon and Nemesis followed. Leon banged on the door with his foot. Jill heard the sound of bones breaking. The door opened as Leon's face turned from triumph to pain.  
  
"Owwww" he cried out as he fell over. From above them two zombies looked down on them and spoke.  
  
"Who goes there?" asked the first zombie.  
  
"We are three of the survivors competing in the competition" answered Leon through grunts of pain. Jill told them they had ridden the lengths of the city searching for Tyrant.  
  
"What ridden on a Tyrant?" asked the first zombie.  
  
"Yes, we have" replied Jill, straining her neck to get a better look at the zombies.  
  
"You've got a Nemesis!" the zombie retorted. Leon said so what. The zombie wrinkled his brow and continued.  
  
"Look for a monster to be a Tyrant he has to be able to run at 3 steps a second right?" he asked the to befuddled humans.  
  
"He could carry us on his shoulders!" shot back Leon, who by that time had received medical treatment from a medical zombie.  
  
"Its not a matter of where he holds you! its a simple matter of weight ratios. A nemesis cannot carry two people and keep a speed of 3 steps a second.  
  
"It doesn't matter! would you go tell Tyrant to-"  
  
"They could have been carried by a Canadian Nemesis!" called the second zombie. The first zombie agreed and said that it definitely couldn't have been done by an American Nemesis. The three survivors lumbered off in defeat and awaited the immunity challenge. The tribe trooped over to the hospital and saw Chief Irons stumble in. He was about to say something when he tripped over a sleeping Licker. He landed in a heap under Claire. She gave him a swift kick and he immediatley stood up.  
  
"Now that all of you have made it this far, it is time for another Immunity challenge. You must operate on a zombie and remove all of the internal organs that have been preserved. I want a clean challenge and NO cheating" his gaze drifted over to Claire, who put her hands on her hips and smiled.  
  
All the survivors took a zombie and awaited the go signal. Each contestant had a helper zombie with them. Claire called her zombie.  
  
"Scalpel" she said with a dramatic look on her face. She repeated the instruction again and turned her head. The zombie had gotten a little distracted by her ass.   
  
"Scalpel!" she said again as she slapped the zombie. He immediately apologized and gave her the tool. The race was on for the immunity. The first organ was retrieved by Tyrant. He slid the heart into a bucket. Carlos suddenly found a pair of heart paddle things.  
  
"Clear!" he cried as he shocked his corpse. The corpse woke up and slapped him.  
  
"No cheating asshole!" the zombie gave him a stern look. Suddenly a BANG! resonated through the hospital and the zombie was dead again.  
  
"He's dead now" said Chief Irons.  
  
"I'm not quite dead" replied the zombie.  
  
"Well he is mortally wounded" said Chief Irons with a hint of irritation in his voice.  
  
The contest continued on. Claire produced a smirk on her face. An evil smirk as she slipped a zombie arm near Jill's table. Once Jill had done the surgery on her zombie's heart, she stepped over to put it in the bucket and.   
  
"Ahhhhhh" Jill cried as she sailed through the air. The slip worked well and Claire chuckled as she continued on. Tyrant was getting frustrated with the cumbersome tools laid before him. He snicked his claws and slashed the zombie to pieces. The other survivors looked in awe as he recovered all of the perserved organs and dropped them into the bucket. "Who's your daddy" yelled Tyrant. "Fuck ya whos ya-" he paused since everyone stared at him in amazement. He had spoken!  
  
"Uhhhhh I mean roorarrooaor" said Tyrant.  
  
"Tyrant wins immunity!" said Chief Irons.  
  
Back at camp, Leon and Jill tried to talk Tyrant into voting off Claire. Jill told him she was a real threat to them if kept around. Tyrant refused to talk to them or anyone else. Carlos had joined up with Tyrant and the duo held everyone at their mercy.  
  
"nananananana you guys are at our mercy!" laughed Carlos. Jill and Claire looked at each other and nodded. The two ladies pulled out their guns and aimed at Carlos.  
  
"Shut up asshole" said Claire bluntly.  
  
"Watch your back Claire!" warned Carlos. Claire turned around and shook her butt at him and walked away. Jill talked to Claire that night.  
  
"Join my alliance and when we get to the final four.......well? free for all!" Jill's proposal was enticing.  
  
Jill's proposal is very enticing, thought Claire. That night at tribal council. Chief Irons called on the jury to come forward. Rebecca and Chris strode in a gave them evil looks. They obviously were pissed at being voted off. Jill and Claire exchanged glances and waited for the votes to start.  
  
"Alright its time to vote, Claire can begin" said the Chief.  
  
Claire walked to the voting terminal and cast her vote. She was followed by the others and the end resulted in Carlos being voted off.  
  
" Adios Amigos!" he said as he walked out. Jill rolled her eyes and patted Leon on the shoulder. Claire then led the way back to camp.  
  
next chapter: A new challenge introduces a new monster in RE: Survivor Gameshow 12: Ugly piece of $%#&  
  
thx to all my reviewers. 


	12. A new threat

I have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero and the remake and code veronica. I have RE2 for gamecube.  
  
Ch.12 A new Threat  
  
Leon awoke to the sounds of birds chirping amongst the survivors. He wondered why they sounded so....................wierd? Leon grabbed Jill's gun and trained it on the sound.  
  
"What?" asked a Licker who had been perched above Claire. Leon answered with a quick shot from Jill's gun. The Licker took it in the heart and fell onto a fence post.  
  
"I......I......I......I made it myself!" he said as he pulled the fake fence post free. Leon rolled his eyes and went back to sleep. he wondered what colour Claire's underwear was.  
  
Nemesis quietly snuck up on Mr.X as Mr.X was working out. He smiled slightly and jumped on the other Monster.   
  
"Geroff me you loser!" cried Mr.X. The two monsters rolled over one another and raised their fists. Claire walked by and saw them.  
  
"Oh my god I can't bear to watch" she said as she covered her eyes, waiting for the fighting to start. Thirty seconds passed and nothing happened. Claire uncovered her eyes and saw the two monsters having an arm wrestle. Only there was something wrong, they hadn't started yet. A roll of tumble weed blew by Claire as she asked.  
  
"What are you waiting for?"  
  
"Fire your gun" answered Mr.X. Claire gave them a nasty look as she pulled out her gun and fired a round into the air. The arm wrestle was on.  
  
"Nemesis pulls out to an early lead, ohh Mr.X recovers, and theres and struggle on now, oh! Nemesis looks to end this one folks-"  
  
"What the fuck?" interrupted Claire. A zombie had been doing commentary for the arm wrestle. He grinned and backed away. Claire turned back to watch the arm wrestle. Nemesis was almost beaten but he had a trump card. His tentacle came out and he used it to push Mr.X's arm back.  
  
"Hey!" Mr.X cried as his arm was pinned. Nemesis cheered and a crowd of zombies had gathered. He was presented with a bouquet of flowers. Mr.X was confused and wondered where these creatures had come from. "STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Nemesis. After the arm wrestle, Claire went to go talk with Jill and Leon about who would be going home. Nosferatu had a little plan of his own he would run by the other Tyrants.  
  
"graoraoroaraoroaoroaoroaorra(hahahahahahahahaha)" laughed the monster. Leon rested up for the next reward challenge, he knew it would probably be a strength challenge. He didn't think he had a chance. Claire and Jill walked up to him and the trio talked. Nemesis joined them and the foursome discussed strategy.  
  
"I say we get rid of Nosferatu" whispered Claire.  
  
"I agree, he.....she......it! is a menace to us all" answered Jill.  
  
"STARS" agreed Nemesis. Crickets started chirping as the three humans looked at him.  
  
"Nemesis, could you get like a translator or something?" asked Leon. Nemesis folded his arms and walked away. Leon shook his head and asked the ladies if voting for Nosferatu would be best. They nodded and the group set about doing chores.  
  
"Would you watch where you are driving Mr.X?" cried Tyrant. He was ontop of Mr.X's shoulders. The monsters where riding a Motorbike they stole from Leon. The other monster was distracted by a huge billboard of Britney Spears.  
  
"Keep your eyes on the-" Tyrant slammed into a tree branch and he ate a whole bunch of leaves and wood. Mr.X drove off until a wall stopped his driving. Claire ran to the scene followed by Jill.  
  
"Are you two-" KABOOM. The bike detonated and sent Mr.X over the two speechless chicks. He sailed headfirst right into a rock.  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhh thats gotta hurt folks" the announcer zombie was back. Jill took out he Beretta and pointed it at him.  
  
"Ok I get the message" he said as he skulked off. The tribe found tree mail and headed off to the reward challenge at the RPD. Claire walked in and looked around. She only saw a few statues all lined up. Chief Irons walked in greeted them.  
  
"Guys could we move this along I am this close to getting laid" he put his hand down for a second before a gunshot echoed through the hall. An Umbrella sniper had been posted to make sure there were no cheaters. Chief Irons stood motionless before breathing a sigh of relief.  
  
"Anyway, the challenge is simple. Push your statue around the main hall in a circular motion. Whoever gets around first wins......". The chief uncovered an awesome meal of pizza and beer. Jill looked at the meal and hungered for it. Chief Irons then uncovered another item.  
  
"If a tyrant wins, it gets this state-of-the-art translator, and the meal. Nemesis flashed a grin over at Leon. The cop rolled his eyes and prepared to start. The survivors stood behind their assigned statue. Jill raised her hand, Chief Irons acknowledged.  
  
"Why the fuck does my statue have a boner sticking up?" she demanded. It would be hard to push really hard with a boner in her face.  
  
"Hey! mine has one too," exclaimed Claire. She took out her gun and fired. A howl echoed through the police station the second the piece of statue had been shot off. Claire pointed at Jill's statue and fired again, the howl was even worse this time.  
  
"ooooooooooooook?" asked Chief Irons. "Our sniper will sound the challenge off" he said. The tribe waited. The chief looked at his watch and saw that 5 minutes had passed.  
  
"Uh mr. sniper! could you start the challenge please!" he shouted.  
  
"Sorry sir!" exclaimed the sniper. His rifle's scope had been filled by Claire and Jill's asses. He came out of the trance and fired a round into the roof. The challenge had begun. Nemesis pulled into an early lead followed by Mr.X and Tyrant in 3rd. Nosferatu was tied with Leon and Claire was slightly infront of Jill. Nemesis pushed his statue with all his might. He knew the first thing he would say to Leon once he had gotten his translator. Tyrant tried to cheat at about the mid point of the race. He quickly ate a banana and was about to throw it when the sniper's gun flashed. The round hit Tyrant in the hand and sent the banana peel flying towards Claire. Claire stepped on it and slipped.  
  
"Fuck!" she cried as her butt hit the floor hard. Claire was officially out of the race. Leon had his own trick up his sleeve, literally. He took out a clip of VP70 ammo and prepared to slide it under Nosferatu. Again the sniper's rifle laid the law down. The precision shot sent the slip over to Jill.  
  
"Crap" said Jill as she fell. Her back hit the floor with a crunch. With the two ladies out, only Leon and the tyrants remained. Nemesis suddenly had a burst of energy when he spotted Leon gaining on Nosferatu. The statue moved with ease across the finish line. Nemesis let out a cheer. He grabbed his pizza and beer, along with the translator. Back at camp, he ate his pizza and guzzled all the beer. With the food out of the way, he slipped the translator around his neck.  
  
"EAT THAT LEON!" he said, pointing at Leon. Leon smiled and motioned for him to sit. With the speaking issue out of the way, Nemesis could be an asset to the team.  
  
"I believe that the plan of action that our alliance should take to ensure the victory of this game is to vote out Nosferatu, granted it doesn't know of our plan, and Claire may I say that you look absolutely stunning tonight, along with Jill." It took the three humans a couple seconds to digest what he had just said.  
  
"Uhhhh thanks buddy" answered Claire.  
  
"Thanks Nemesis" said Jill. The tribe slept with the thoughts of the looming immunity challenge in their dreams.  
  
At the Clock tower, Chief Irons explained the challenge. A huge boxing ring had been set up, and a large box was moving in the middle. He gestured to it and two men came out of the shadows. They carried explosives with them and planted them on the box. They backed away and pressed a button. Nothing happened.  
  
"Awwww for christ's sake, what did you do now?" asked one of the men.  
  
"I dunno man but i'm totally stoned" answered the other guy.  
  
"Gimme it now!" said the other man. He grabbed the detonator and emptied the bottom."Man all we need are new batteries," he put in new ones and pressed the button. The box detonated, reveavling something inside. It looked very ugly. It stood up. The thing had grey hair and stood at least 6'6. It sported huge muscles and a six pack. Torn pants were all that it was wearing.  
  
"Whomever can last the longest without being pinned will win immunity and be guarantied another 3 days here in raccoon city. We have randomly selected who goes first and you, Leon are lucky number one." Just then the host from Fear Factor ran behind Chief Irons and clubbed him down with a fist." That's my line you son of a bitch!" he cried. Claire and Jill grabbed him, hauled him down, and managed to knock him out.  
  
The chief then told leon to go. The monster grabbed at Leon but he slipped underneath him. The monster grinned and sat down, right on Leon's arm. Leon groaned and was beaten in a measly 10 seconds. Next came Jill. The creature reached again for her. The former STARS member tried a left hook. The thing raised his other hand. Jill spotted it and froze, it was a complete claw. Jill made the mistake of freezing for a second before she was pinned. Her time, 15 seconds. Claire was next. This time she was ready. When the thing grabbed for her, she kicked his hand away and made him go off balance. With this opening, Claire jumped on his head and stepped onto his back. With a mighty leap she flew off the Tyrant. She flew and flew and flew until...........The thing managed to get his hand around her leg. She was pinned in 30 seconds.  
  
"I can beat him" said Nemesis. He went into the ring. He wasn't going down without a fight. His tentacle popped out and slithered underneath the new guy's leg. He was just about to trip him when the creature swung his claw and cut his Tentacle. Nemesis reared back, shrugging off the pain. The creature was just about to swing again when all of a sudden, William Birkin showed up.  
  
"Excuse me sir, but That claw swiping thing is my trademark, it clearly states," he began as he unfolded a paper(probably a trademark thing or something),"in this copyright rule 145 section 7, that only William Birkin is to use the claw swipe attack so i'm going to have to ask you to-," William didn't finish his sentence because he was gagged by Chief Irons and thrown out of the ring. Nemesis and the creature fought for 3 minutes before Nemesis failed. After Tyrant and Nosferatu failed to get a better time than Nemesis, Mr.X went into the ring. Our unknown creature attacked, Mr.x sidestepped and the thing went over the ropes. With anger, "It" jumped back into the ring and Mr.X punched him in the stomach. He seemed to be doing well until he screwed up. His shoelace had been untied and he tripped. The thing took its oppurtunity and pinned Mr.X.  
  
"Nemesis wins reward!" said Chief Irons. He handed Nemesis the immunity necklace. The next evening, tribal council took place. Nosferatu spat at Nemesis as he left the tribal council, voted off. Leaving only Claire, Jill, Leon, Nemesis, Tyrant, and Mr.X left.  
  
next time on resident evil survivor: The unbeatable alliance starts to crumble when someone is set up. Thanks Mark Vercetti for monster concept. 


	13. Alliance Broken

I have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero and the remake .I have RE2 for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story.  
  
Ch.13 Alliance Broken  
  
Nemesis strolled through the morning breeze and looked at the mail they had gotten for the next challenge.  
  
"Well let me see here." he began. Nemesis pulled out his reading glasses and read the letter. It read:  
  
don't be mean to your fellow tribemates, for you never know when those you hate will be the ones you depend on. The letter confused Nemesis but he went back to camp and woke up the tribe.  
  
"What is so important that we had to get up early?" asked Claire as she stretched. Nemesis pulled out the letter and let the rest of the tribe read it. Unlike Nemesis, Jill knew exactly what the note meant. Mr.X, unfortunately, knew it too, and devised an excellent plan. While Nemesis was taking a nap, he snuck up to him. He brought his head up and saw Nemesis staring at him.  
  
"Ahhhh!" he cried as he stumbled back. Nemesis, however, did not stir and remained sleeping. Mr.X then smiled and picked up his sacred translator. He cackled as he smashed the little device to bits. he carefully placed the remains beside Leon, who was having a snooze as well. He then decided to do chin ups over a huge garbage bin. He lifted up and up and up and up and up and up and up until suddenly, the bar broke.  
  
"Crap!" he said as he fell into the garbage bin. Jill saw the spectacle and shook her head. Mr.X climbed out and started away from the garbage bin, only to slip on a banana peel.  
  
"Poop!" he said as again, he fell into the garbage bin. Nemesis finally finished his nap, he stretched, did a few pushups, and ate a zombie dog leg. He reached for his translator, only to grab nothing but air. Frusterated, Nemesis looked behind him and spotted a piece of his sacred item. He saw more pieces and scratched his head.  
  
"STARS STARS?"(How am I gonna find my translator?). something tapped him on the shoulder. He immediately whirled around and saw that a squad of Umbrella agents had come up from behind. They were the same type of guys that tried to take the G-virus from Birkin. One of them stepped forward and introduced himself.  
  
"My name is Hunk, I see you have a dilemna on your hands," he said without any jokingness in his voice. Nemesis nodded. Hunk suddenly began dancing. The rest of the Umbrella guys joined in the fun.  
  
"All you have to do is.....Follow the broken machine parts road!" sang Hunk in a load voice. The men sang in the same tune as The Wizard of Oz, repeating the words. Nemesis looked behind himself and saw the road. He whacked himself on the head in a DUH! motion. Hunk laughed as he broke into another song.  
  
"You can find your translator if you just whistle!" his singing was incredibly good. Nemesis heard a rustle in the bushes and saw the Ghosts from Ghost Recon appear. They surrounded the Umbrella agents and opened fire.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhahahahahahaha you can't kill me!" sang Hunk as he was shot. He flopped onto the ground and died. The ghosts celebrated the mission they had accomplished. Suddenly, a helicopter appeared out of nowhere. Ropes came down and the operatives from Rainbow Six descended. They quickly fanned out and took cover.  
  
"Prepare to die you bastards!" cried the nearest Rainbow.  
  
"You want a piece of us!" shouted a Ghost. The two squads opened fire on each other. But unfortunately, their aim was a little off since their latest games. Nemesis shrugged and followed the trail as the two forces proceeded to settle things in a better way, Hockey. Nemesis followed his little trail until he saw where it led to. Leon was sitting on the last piece, having a nap.  
  
"STARS!" cried Nemesis. He quickly ran to cop and grabbed his pants. Jill and Claire were off practicing their aim when they heard a sudden sound.Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppp.  
  
"What was that?" asked Jill.  
  
"Sounds like someone got a huge wedgie," answered Claire. The two chicks giggled as they knew exactly who had gotten the wedgie. Chief Irons was shaving his mustache when all of a sudden, a piercing scream sounded through the entire city.  
  
"Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!" screamed Leon.  
  
"God damnit!" he cried as his razor sliced his upper lip. Nemesis smiled as Leon hung from a flag pole Nemesis had found. Leon had a look of sheer pain on his face.  
  
"You son of a bitch i'm going to kill you when I get down there!" he cried at Nemesis. Nemesis put his hand out in front of himself and waved his hand towards his face in a "Bring it on" notion. Leon didn't take kindly to Nemesis' confidence fo he wriggled and wriggled until his boxers ripped.  
  
"Ahhhh shit," he cried before his face hit the ground. Nemesis nodded and left Leon to watch stars drift around his head. Meanwhile, Mr.X had fallen into the garbage bin another ten times and had said every word for shit he could think of. The tribe then hiked to the arklay mountains to do the next reward challenge. Leon waddled behind Tyrant in a very painful manner. In a clearing, Chief Irons was waiting for them. Jill looked at his face and saw that he had cut himself shaving. Leon saw it to and asked Chief Irons how he did that.  
  
"HOW DID I DO THIS!" screamed Chief Irons. Steam poured from his ears. He continued yelling at Leon for another 5 minutes before finally calming down. He went on to explain the challenge. The tribe mates would form groups of two and would be asked a series of questions. The pair who got the most correct would win a trip to a spa. Jill and Claire banded together immediately. Mr.X and Tyrant shook hands. That left Leon and Nemesis. Leon put on a disgusted look and stood beside him. Nemesis growled.  
  
"The first question is, which RE game is the Licker featured in?" Chief Irons said to the contestants. Jill and Claire said RE2, Tyrant and Mr.X said RE1, and Leon and Nemesis said RE2. Tyrant whacked himself on the head for the getting the answer wrong.  
  
"AGggggrrraaahhh" he cried as his claws got stuck in his forehead. Mr.X rolled his eyes and turned to Tyrant.  
  
"For christ' sake you retard you are supposed to pull out your claws like this-" he started as he yanked out the huge claw. Tyrant started whimpering and hid in a corner of a nearby tree.  
  
"I thought I trained you now come Tyrant!" called Mr.X. Tyrant immediately ran toward Mr.X and jumped on him.  
  
"Ok ok now sit!" ordered Mr.X. Tyrant sat down and the challenge continued. The tribe heard a rustle in the bushes and The Master Chief entered the clearing. He walked over to Jill and Claire.  
  
"Excuse me ladies but have either of you seen Claire Redfield?" he asked them. Jill smiled and asked The chief a question.  
  
"What does she look like sir?"  
  
"Well she is about 20 years old with brown hair and she is super hot" answered the chief.  
  
"Nope don't know her," answered Jill.  
  
"Aww nuts now where am I going to look" said the chief as he walked away.  
  
"Riiight" said Chief Irons. He immediately asked the next question.  
  
"How long does it take to synthesize the G-virus vaccine?"  
  
Jill and Claire answered 10 seconds, Mr.X and Tyrant answered 15 seconds, and Nemesis and Leon answered 5 seconds. Once again Claire and Jill were the only team to answer correctly. "The challenge dragged on. The tribes were locked in a battle of wits as they desperately fought to outlast each other. There was also a great musical number done by Nemesis himself with Claire and Jill doing backup sing-", Billy suddenly appeared from nowhere and looked up into the sky.  
  
"You are by far the most annoying narrarator I have ever heard!" he cried, shaking his fist.  
  
"Oh ya? well how about I nararate a certain accident in your pants!" boomed the announcer.  
  
"Do your worst you pile of.....Ahhhhhh!" Billy cried out as he ran from the clearing, well more like waddled since there was a huge crap in his pants. With Billy gone, the challenge could continue.  
  
"Alright final question!" Chief Irons was exhausted. He had a cramp from standing up. The scores were all tied at 4. Jill and Claire put determined looks on their faces, Tyrant and Mr.X braced themselves, and Leon made a balloon animal. The question was which actor plays Sir Lancelot in Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Jill scratched her head and then her face lit up. Her and Claire's answer was John Cleese. Leon and Nemesis said Elijah Wood, and Mr.X and Tyrant answered Alec Trebeck. The tension mounted as Chief Irons read the correct answer.  
  
"John Cleese! that means Claire and Jill are the winners!" The two chicks jumped for joy and were guided to the spa while the men sulked home.  
  
next time on RE survivor gameshow: The two ladies get way more than they expect at the Raccoon spa. 


	14. Wierd Spa

I have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero .I have RE2 and resident evil for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story. Ch.14 Wierd Spa  
  
Jill smiled as she entered the spa that Claire and she would be staying at for the next couple days. The front desk looked normal enough. She could use a little pampering. After so long without a decent rest she could see the advantage this could give her.  
"This is so kickass" commented Jill as she walked to the front desk. She and Claire were escorted to their room where they would have a few minutes of rest before the baths. Jill flopped onto one of the beds and turned on the tv. A frown formed on her face as she flipped through the channels. They all had gameplay footage from all the resident evil games to date.  
"Aww dammit i'm missing CSI!" she cried. Then a knock came at the door and Claire answered it.  
"......ye- ahhhhhhhhhh! who the hell are you!" screamed Claire as she backed away.  
"Calm the fuck down i'm just your tour guide" answered the Hunter sent to get the two ladies. He looked at himself and blushed.  
"Pardon me ladies I shall don my proper attire". Jill gave Claire a confused look.  
"Is it just me or did he just take on a british accent?" asked Jill. Claire shrugged and sat down to wait. A few moments later the Hunter stepped out of the bathroom clad in a tuxedo and was sporting a monocle.  
"If you two gorgeous ladies would kindly follow me i'll lead you to your baths". The hunter turned around and led the women through a large hall.  
"As you can see, these paintings are from the traditional fratchina period" said Mr.Hunter. Jill stared at the paintings, they were all of young men. They had youthful expressions on their faces. Jill thought she saw the eyes move in one. Jill placed her hands on her hips when she realized the paintings' eyes were all focused on her chest. She turned quickly and walked away.  
"This place is kinda creepy" commented Jill. Mr.Hunter led them into another room, this one had promise. Two large jacuzzis were all ready to go. The water was a little murky, but otherwise, it was great. Mr.Hunter bowed out of the room, leaving the two ladies alone. "Finally some goddamn peace and quiet!" cried Jill.  
"Amen to that!" answered Claire. Jill frowned at the water in her tub. She pulled the plug so she could get some better water. As she watched the water go down a hand shot out from the water.  
"What the-" cried Jill as a zombie raised himself out of the tub. He reached out at Jill.....but not directly at Jill. His hands were getting closer to Jill's boobs.  
"Why is this so familiar?" asked Jill as she backed away, letting the zombie flop out of the tub. Jill brought her boot down on the zombie's head. Satisfied, Jill ran some better water and settled in for a nice bath.  
  
Back at the camp the men had gotten out of control. everywhere smelt of body odor. Nemesis and Mr.X were giving atomic wedgies left and right, and Carlos had huddled inside a little shack with Jill and Claire's underwear.  
"Come out come out wherever you are Carlos" cried Leon. Mr.X had Leon six feet in the air by his boxers. The tyrants had declared that they would hold Leon up by his underwear until Carlos came out. Carlos cautiously opened the door. He took one step before he was hanging by his boxers. Nemesis laughed. His voice echoed throughout the city. Nosferatu walked up to Nemesis and whispered in his ear. Nemesis nodded and followed Nosferatu to a small picnic area. A board had been laid out with pieces.  
"I made this myself" grinned Nosferatu. It looked like chess but the pieces were different. Zombies had replaced pawns, Lickers were bishops, Hunter Bs were knights, Spiders were rooks, The queen was Alexia, and the king was A crimson head.  
"Hang on lemme crack my fingers nemesis", said Nosferatu. The creature brought his hands together then made a cracking motion.  
CRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKK.................."AAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhh" cried Nosferatu as he held his hands. The creature collected himself for about 5 minutes before starting the game.  
  
Claire felt very good after that sensational bath. She stepped into the towel room to find the elusive item. She closed the door behind her and looked toward the back of the room to find a gun pointed at her.  
"Freeze, who are you? what are you doing here?"  
"Don't shoot, i'm a human!" answered Claire without thinking. She suddenly had the feeling of deja- vu.  
She stepped out of the room confused, why was everything here so familiar? Jill looked down at a hair spray bottle and tried to pick it up. She froze and heard a voice inside her head.  
"Will you take the hair spray?" Jill shook her head and tried to pick up the spray. She tried another three times before the voice got annoyed.  
"WILL YOU TAKE THE GODDAMN SPRAY!!!!?" yelled the voice.  
".......Yes?" answered Jill.  
"You got a hairspray" said the voice. Jill sighed and went off to explore the spa.  
At the camp, Nemesis' Crimson head had just finished Eviscerating one of Nosferatu's Hunter Bs. The pair of monsters waited for the next move. Suddenly Carlos lept out of nowhere and trashed the board.  
"NERDS" shouted Carlos as he ran off. Nemesis immediately jumped up and ran after him. He proceeded to pummel Carlos until his arm was tired.  
"Owww amigo.....I was.....only kidding....." said Carlos before he dropped into a coma. Nemesis shrugged and walked away.  
Jill walked into the campsite and shuddered at the thought of that wierd Spa. She got careless and tripped over Carlos.  
"Damnit!" she cried. It was time for the immunity challenge. The tribe walked to another parking lot. It was set up in a sort of ring. Chief Irons spotted them coming and greeted them.  
"Hello and welcome to your challenge, today you will try to predict how long it will take my assistant to kill a number of different monsters".;  
"Who is your assistant?" asked Leon. Chief Irons was about to answer when he spotted Carlos lying on the ground next to Nemesis.  
"What the hell is he doing here?" he asked. Nemesis explained that he was for fun. The chief nodded and waved at someone to come out of the shadows. A large figure stepped into the shadows to reveal that it was.............................................SAMUS ARAN.  
"Samus, would you please step into the ring?" asked Chief Irons. Samus nodded and did a somersault, landing on the mat.  
"Bravo, bravo!" cheered Leon. Round 1 began with Samus versus a zombie. At the sound of a whistle, Samus simply punched the zombie across the parking lot. Round 2 concluded with a zombie dog's charred remains on the mat. Round 3's challenger had a very long tongue sticking out onto the ground. Samus took 5 seconds to dodge a hunter's claw swipe, switch to wave beam, and fry the bastard.  
The final round was Samus versus a leech zombie. After the whistle, the zombie latched onto Samus and tryed to bite through her armor. Samus simply shoved her arm cannon into its stomach and fired. Samus saluted and turned to leave the area.  
"Our winner is Jill!" cried Chief Irons. Leon slammed his chalk down on the ground, hitting Carlos in the head.  
"And what is Nosferatu doing at your camp?" asked the chief. Nemesis explained for chess matches.  
"Ohhhh right right right".;  
At tribal council, Jill opened the door to find Samus and The Master Chief sitting on one of the benches.  
"Come on big guy, I won't bite!" said Samus. The chief answered that his sex drive is out of whack due to his bio augmentation.  
"Maybe this will help" replied Samus. She took off her helmet, revealing her dazzling face. The master chief jumped up and chased Samus out of the trolley. The tribe proceeded to vote Tyrant off. Mr.X trembled in a corner and started to hatch another evil scheme.  
  
Next chapter: and unexpected guest visits the camp, providing a new twist to the game. 


	15. You want me to do what!

have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero .I have RE2 and resident evil for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story. Ch.15 You want me to do what!?  
  
The camp of the last survivors slept peacefully in the morning. Jill stirred slightly as she dreamt, Leon's mouth turned into a slight smile as he dreamt of Jill. Claire's mouth formed a frown as she dreamt of Leon dreaming of Jill. A bell suddenly started banging over Nemesis' head.  
"STAAAAARRRRSS" he cried and punched at the sound. The sound of a broken leg echoed through the city just before a loud scream.  
"FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkk" cried Chief Irons as he dropped to the ground. Five hours later the chief was in a wheelchair.

"You will now vote on who will come back into the game,Muhuahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" cackled the chief. Jill cocked an eyebrow. So later that day............................................................they........................VOTED!  
"Congratulations Mikhail! you are now back in the game!" laughed Chief Irons. He handed Claire a note before wheeling away. Claire read the note aloud, describing the next challenge. Two people were going to be voted off and Mikhail was immune. The challenge was going to be more different than any they had done before.  
At the camp, Leon was going to go shoot some zombies.  
"Heh heh here comes the dick head!" said a zombie with sarcasm in his voice.  
"Eat this!" cried Leon as he pulled the trigger,.........click,click,click answered the gun. Leon scratched his head and looked down.  
"Ahhhhh I have hit points!" he cried. The zombies began chanting and little hit point bars spread up around them.  
"This is lame! Final Fantasy sucks" cried Leon. He then began to wage turn based war against the party of zombies. Meanwhile, Jill and Claire were having a fight about who dumped the tribe's water.  
"You did it and you know it bitch!" screamed Jill.  
"Oh ya well I bet you were the one who extinguished our fire!" retorted Claire. Mr.X covered his ears. Suddenly someone dropped in between them from above.

"Hello my name is Lyn, is there a problem ladies?" asked the girl from Fire Emblem. Claire slapped Lyn across the face and went back to name calling Jill. Lyn frowned and unsheathed the Mani Katti. With a smooth motion she stabbed Claire in the ass.  
"Owwwwwwwwwww" screamed Claire as she sailed through the air onto a cactus. Jill laughed and thanked Lyn as she watched Claire hop about while grabbing her ass.  
"It's times like these that make me smile" commented Mr.X. Nemesis nodded. He felt something poke him. He turned around and spotted a kid behind him.  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, get it away!" he screamed. The kid laughed and touched him again. Nemesis cried out as a swarm of kids trampled him.  
"Who let them in here?" he screamed. Mr.X was lost under the tide of children.  
Leon dropped to the ground as he was defeated. A zombie had done a critical hit on him and KOed the cop. "Final Fantasy sucks" he said in a dream. The zombies quickly gave him an atomic wedgie and left. The tribe was beaten into submission by a number of plagues. Kids, raccoons, Scottsmen, aliens. They were left almost incapacitated.

"Space marines move out!" cried a sergeant of the Blood Ravens. one space marine grabbed a survivor. Jill's head rolled forward as she was hoisted over the shoulder of a marine.  
"If you touch my ass you are dead meat!" she said.  
"Whatever miss" replied the marine. Jill frowned and fell asleep. Later that day the survivors were dropped off at a video arcade. Chief Irons explained the challenge that would take place. The survivors would race around the arcade and find 5 gold tokens. Once they had found the tokens they would play one game of the name of the game on the coin and last at least five minutes each game.  
"How the hell can we run around?" asked Jill. The other survivors looked at chief Irons.  
"That's the challenge" answered the chief. He whistled and the challenge was on. Jill managed to get into a crawling position and crawled around the arcade. Leon just lay still as he was still knocked out from his "final fantasy". Mr.X started rolling around and managed to find a coin.  
"Owwwwwww" he cried as he banged his head. Nemesis rolled over and spotted a tiny button. He looked around then saw that Jill was on top of a small glowing light. He smiled and touched the button. Jill screamed as she was zapped by an electric spark and sent into the roof.  
"Fucccccckk" cried Jill as she hit the floor hard. As the challenge went on, the arcade was filled with the screams of people being zapped. Jill was the first to succeed in collecting all of her coins. She inserted a Mortal Kombat 2 coin into the machine and chose Sub Zero. Unfortunately for Jill she wasn't very good at Mortal Kombat and she had to try again.  
"I got one!" cried Leon. He had been zapped out of his slumber and had found a Virtual On token. Mr.X had cheated. He brought a small ball and threw it at Leon. It exploded and covered him with beer.

"AAAAhhhhh hey Jill you got a real nice butt hahahahah" called Leon. Jill frowned at him and went back to playing Star Wars arcade. The challenge intensified as Nemesis found another zapper and zapped Claire while she was sitting on her already sore ass.  
"Damnit!" she cried. Her ass went even more numb. 20 minutes later Jill finally finished her games and collapsed. The other tribe members began finishing their games until only 3 were left. Mikhail, Claire, and Mr.X scrambled about playing games. Claire slammed her fist into the screen of House of the Dead 3 until her hand broke.  
"We have losers!" cried Chief Irons. Claire and Mr.X slumped their shoulders. They were the ones who were going to be leaving this time.  
"Horrible gameshow anyways" said Claire. She stepped outside and suddenly slipped on some bananas. To her horror she landed squarely on her ass.

"Fuck!" she cried and limped out of Raccoon city. Mr.X followed. He turned and looked back at Jill and started crying. Jill waited until he was out of sight before laughing herself silly. The other tribe members walked back to camp to find the Master Chief and Samus making out in the middle of the site.  
"Hit the road guys" said Leon as he jerked his thumb towards the city.  
Samus turned her arm cannon and fired without losing track of the Master Chief. Leon cried out as he clutched his groin in pain. With that the tribe rested.  
"Hey!" cried Jill as she found a magazine under Leon's pillow marked "Jill Valentine nude". She ran over to him and kicked Leon in the nuts, hard.  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooowwwwwwwww" he screamed.  
  
next chapter: The tribe comes face to face with their sworn enemy.  
thx to all my reviewers.


	16. Enemies? Attack!

have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero .I have RE2 and resident evil for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story. I have no rights to THQ, Relic, and Warhammer 40k. 

Ch.16 Enemies! Attack!

Leon, Jill, and Nemesis were all happy after the latest challenge. Their alliance had held and they just had to win the next immunity challenge and vote off Mikhail. Mikhail came along with the alliance of three to get the tree mail. He reached into the tree, when suddenly an animal jumped on his face.  
"Ahhhh ahhh ahhh get it off get it off!" he screamed as the raccoon attacked the hapless man. Leon burst out laughing. He laughed through breakfast, lunch, supper, and breakfast again until finally, when they went to get tree mail again, Nemesis shoved a beer bottle down his throat. Leon cried with glee and started sucking. He rolled up onto the ground and continued to drink. Nemesis led the way into a large clearing the size of a tennis court. He suddenly stopped and started sniffing.  
"What do you smell?" asked Jill. Nemesis paused for a moment before saying,  
"Steak.  
"Oh.......well"  
"Nooooo! its Silent Hill characters!" he cried. Jill winced at the name of Resident Evil's biggest competitor. Several dark figures appeared in the clearing. They were human. Four of them. There were 2 men and 2 women. They were looking very eager to speak with the two RE characters.

"Well if it isn't Jill Valentine and Nemesis" scoffed James Sunderland. He smoothed his hair back before Eileen spoke.  
"Time to die bitch!" she cried. Jill cocked an eyebrow and laughed.  
"You four can't take us on!" laughed Jill. Nemesis started laughing. He was cut short when Harry whistled. 5 more figures appeared behind Nemesis. They were not human. A creature with a pyramid head led the way.  
"Jolly good day for a fight isn't it govena" said the monster in a strange British accent.  
"I hope you're happy, I was pulled from a marvelous game of cricket if you must know". Nemesis looked dumbfounded. He whispered into Jill's ear. Jill nodded before striking out quickly. Jill's foot connected with James' groin. He screamed and went down, holding himself. Nemesis jumped onto the pyramid head and started pounding him.  
"What a horrible dress!" said Jill before punching Eileen in the face. She staggered back and attacked Jill. The humans circled Jill and began attacking. From the shadows a figure appeared. It was the only savior the two survivors had, the one person who could end the battle in a quick motion, it was.

"Leon?" asked Jill. She was currently being held down by the two men while Eileen was trying to slap her.  
"Hey Lyn you are one sexy chick, y don u an I go ou fo a smok sometime ah?" laughed Leon. Lyn stepped behind him and clubbed him into unconsciousness.  
"That was supposed to be my entry!" she retorted. Jill smiled and broke free of the men's grasp. She became a blur of motion as she knocked out Harry with one punch. Nemesis was doing bad fighting the monsters. Every time he hit one of them away another one appeared. Lyn came from above Nemesis, piercing Pyramid head's uhhh uhhh pyramid head?  
"Oh dash it all it'll take me weeks to re carve this!" he cried as the battle continued. Jill desperately fought James, Eileen, and Heather. Suddenly James did something he would regret for his entire life. He punched Jill in the breast.  
"Uh oh" whispered Eileen to Heather. Jill's eyes turned red before she unleashed her most powerful attack, the too too too too hard slap. She slapped all three at once, sending them flying across the clearing. Lyn and Nemesis turned and saw the people go flying. Immediately after the attack Jill fainted. Lyn caught her in mid fall.  
"I'll be back after my cricket match mates, the game has been going on for 7 hours". Pyramid head's last words echoed as the monsters left the clearing. Lyn administered Sacean healing techniques. Jill awoke with a start.  
"I did the too too too too hard slap didn't I?" asked the babe. Lyn nodded and told Jill to rest. She whistled and immediately Sain rode into the clearing.  
"Why isn't she a fine catch Lady Lyndis!" exclaimed Sain before he helped Jill onto his horse. He rode off into the trees with Lyn and Jill on the steed.  
"Hey wait for me!" cried Nemesis. He ran to catch up but tripped on Leon's drunk form. He kicked him in the stomach and walked away. When the survivors got back to the camp site, Chief Irons was waiting for them. He waited for Leon to stumble into the camp before speaking.

"There is some good......ahh shit" said the chief. Sain's horse had left a monster shit in the middle of the camp. Irons quickly looked around for something to wipe off his shoe. He spotted Leon's secret stash of Jill Valentine nude pictures and started wiping the footwear.  
"Nooooooooooo! whhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" cried Leon in an overly dramatic voice. Irons then explained that the fight between the RE people and SH people was a surprise immunity challenge. Jill's mouth popped open in surprise. Irons motioned behind him. Three judges were sitting behind a desk. Samus, Master Chief, and Lyn. Irons then told the survivors that they would be rated on their performance in the battle. The first rating would be on Jill.  
Samus immediately held up a board with a number 10 on it. Master chief followed with a 9 and Lyn held up a 9.5.  
"Thank you very much!" exclaimed Jill. The ratings then shifted to Nemesis, who received 8s across the board. He slumped to the ground and started sleeping. Leon received a 0.5 from Samus and two 1s. Finally, Mikhail got 0s for not participating.  
"But if I would have known"  
"Silence!" snapped Samus. The judges cast dark looks at Mikhail. Mikhail pleaded with them until he was dragged away by a space marine. Chief Irons placed the immunity necklace on Jill's neck. She cheered and led the way back to the camp.  
"Well I guess I am going home" said Mikhail sadly.  
"Oh save it whelp!" replied Nemesis. He punched Mikhail in the gut. The man flew into the air and landed in a heap beside a garbage can. Jill sighed and looked at Leon. He was giggling at a picture he was looking at. Jill looked over his shoulder and spotted.....A picture of herself totally naked. Jill's mouth erupted in a torrent of words too bad to write. Leon looked up and saw Jill's fist connect with his face.  
"Ahhhh my beautiful face!" cried Leon. He tried to defend himself but instead just curled up into a ball and took the punishment. Nemesis grabbed Jill and dragged her away.

All was quiet as the tribe entered the tram car. Irons was sleeping in the corner seat, Samus and The Master Chief were cuddling on the opposite seat. A licker was eating a hamburger in the opposite tram car. Irons awoke with a start and immediately brought the tribe to order.  
"So Jill have you had a perfect plan this entire game?" he asked.  
"Well no there have been a few bumps and curves in the road but I think it has been all good for me", answered Jill.  
"Leon, what is the greatest asset you have to winning this game.  
"I believe that I'm an honest player of the game and a team player", Leon said.  
The voting then began after the bone breaking task, the most challenging undertaking, the one thing that cannot be done,.............making Samus and The Master Chief leave the tram. Irons gathered the votes. He winced as he felt the plasma burn from Samus' beam cannon. She was especially hard to get rid of. Chief Irons read the votes.  
"Mikhail, Leon, Mikhail, Mikhail. Bring me your torch man" said the chief quickly. Mikhail left the trolley with a somber face, leaving Jill, Leon, and Nemesis to head back to camp and prepare for the last challenge.


	17. And the Winner is

have 3 RE books and played through RE 3. I have played all the other REs except zero .I have RE2 and resident evil for gamecube. All rights reserved by creators of movies and games I reference in this story. I have no rights to THQ, Relic, and Warhammer 40k.  
Ch.17 And the Winner is... 

This was it. The last day of the gameshow was beginning. Nemesis stretched and got up. His feet pounded the ground as he walked to the lake for a drink. Something moved behind him and he turned with a start. An Ork came into view. It laughed and loaded a gun. Nemesis just stood there. Suddenly a Space Marine came up behind the Ork and slit its throat. He laughed too and addressed Nemesis.  
" Good luck with the game Nemesis and remember, Heresy grows from Idleness ". He laughed again, turned and ran off into the bushes. The monster shook his head before stepping toward then river. His foot suddenly slipped on the mud.  
" SHIT! " he screamed as he fell into the lake. He arose from the brown water in a cloud of steam. He was mad to be covered in all the crap from the bottom. At that moment Leon walked by and turned as he spotted Nemesis.  
" Whoa what happened?" he asked. Nemesis waited one second before reaching out and grabbing Leon. Leon screamed and tried to wrestle free.  
" Hey man I need to get out of this game alive so I can work on Resident Evil 4!" he cried. Nemesis smiled and threw Leon screaming into the water. He stomped off to find Jill. She was busy at camp fending off a pack of polite zomibies trying to make her breakfast.  
" Well lads lets give this beautiful woman a fine breakfast!" said one of them.  
" Please Jill have a seat here while we prepare a feast for you ", " Allow me to fold your underwear Miss Valentine ", and so forth.  
" Uhhhhh no seriously I don't need, Hey! stay away from my clothes, ahhh please no more " she pleaded. The zombies took no heed to her desires and went about being polite. Jill wrestled free from two zombies trying to seat her, jumped over to her clothes and yanked her underwear away. She was very tired by now and teetered. Her vision was blackening.  
" By George are you alright Miss Valentine?" asked the head polite zombie. Jill then fainted.  
" Well then lads lets make the woman comfortable " ordered the leader. They picked Jill up and carried her over to a hammock.  
" Wow what a nice ass " commented a zombie.  
" Nice and firm boobs " said another. The leader gave them a nasty look.  
" We uh uh mean uh attractive body " they stammered. The others nodded and laid Jill down on the hammock that was strung up near the middle of camp. Jill was in a deep sleep from all the politeness.

Nemesis walked into the camp and called for Jill. When he heard no answer the monster looked near the hammock to find a pack of zombies taking care of her.  
" Oh no polite zombies! " cried Nemesis. The leader zombie looked up and spotted Nemesis.  
" Ah well if it isn't Nemesis. Come now lad you seem a bit parched......Hey why are you running at me......AAhhhhhhhh! run! ". Nemesis steamrolled the head zombie then broked another one's arm. The rest of the zombies shuffled away. Nemesis heaved the dead zombies into the air. He even amazed even himself with the toss.  
" I am gonna kill him " said Leon as he surfaced from the foul water. He heard something whizzing through the air and looked up just in time to say Uh oh before two corpses crashed onto his head.  
" Thanks buddy " said Jill. She had regained conciousness right after Nemesis had taken care of the polite zombies. Nemesis beamed and began packing his things. The final challenge was just ahead. Leon trudged into the camp with a nasty bump on his head. Jill laughed at him before returning to packing her things. Leon packed all his things up and called the others together.  
" Well it looks like our alliance held " he said in a very enthusiastic tone. The three tribemates ate one final meal before heading to Chief Irons' house on the edge of town. As they entered Jill spotted a TV about 32" with a PS2 hooked up to it. She smiled at the thought of wasting Leon in a game of Mortal Kombat. Irons explained the challenge.  
" Whoever can stay awake the longest watching a gamer play Silent Hill 2 will get immunity and decide who will be going to the final 2. Please have a seat and wait for the horn ". The player of the console came in. A bright yellow nametag with the name " Dante Notgnimys " was on his shoulder. The game started up. Nemesis could not understand why there were no monsters around. He counted the number of doors the character passed as he ran through the game.

1....2......3......5.....wait......ya 5......6....7.....uhhhhh Nemesis fell asleep at only 5 minutes. His snoring filled the room as Jill and Leon popped in earplugs. As the night wore on, Jill's eyelids fluttered a bit but she held on. Leon struggled to stay awake. The digital Sunderland blasted a monster just as he fell asleep.  
" Jill wins at 40 minutes, 35 seconds! " cheered Irons. He congratulated Jill before asking which player she would like to eliminate. Jill looked at Nemesis and saw a large bubble coming out of his nose.  
" Ewwwww " she said as she turned to Leon who was foaming at the mouth.  
" Yuck! " Jill cried. She hesitated a second before choosing Leon. Irons pulled a lever and sent Leon through the floor. Eliminating him. Nemesis woke up and cheered that he was in the final two. Irons signaled someone behind Jill. She was about to turn when a Space Marine knocked her out. Nemesis had a puzzled look on his face. Another marine knocked him out. He then proceeded to try and lift the Tyrant.  
" Heeeeeeeeeaaaavvveee uuhh a little help please?" asked the marine. Two more armor clad warriors helped carry him away.

Jill awoke to a crowd cheering. She was sitting in a small chair facing all the players who had been voted off. The stands were filled with video game characters of every kind. She could see the faces of space marines, footmen, space pirates, orks, elites, Spartans, and so on and so forth. The jury stood and prepared to let Jill and Nemesis say their final pleas. First up was Chris.  
" All I have to say is that Jill is a lot hotter than Nemesis so I will be voting for her ". The crowd cheered as Chris sat down.  
" I am voting for the one I think played a very clean and honest game " said Ada. Leon was next. Irons waited for him to stand. Leon was still sleeping.  
" WAKE UP YOU RETARD! " screamed the chief. Leon stumbled out of his chair.  
" Jill voted me out so I am voting for Nemesis ". The crowd cheered again. One by one the jury made their statements. The time for final rebuttles came and Jill rose. Thousands of wolf whistles erupted from the crowd. Lyn cheered from front row and Samus was preparing a fireworks show. She punched a space pirate in disgust.  
" You guys had better do well in this show or i'll-", she was interrupted by a space pirate.  
" Grrue rerksk gjuy eeekkkoowww " one of them said. Samus shrugged and removed her helmet. The pirates were revitalised by the sight of Samus' face. Jill described how she played the game was with total honesty and integrity. She then put on the most innocent face and turned to the crowd.  
" Aaaawwwwwwwwwwww ", murmured the crowd. Suddenly one of the Space Marines stood and spoke.  
" Hey wait a sec, she's a hot chick, how can we believe her? ". The crowd murmured again. Jill sat down in a very sexy pose and Nemesis rose.  
" Stars stars stars, starstars stars STARS StArS " he said. Crickets were heard chirping in the crowd as the crowd just stared at him.  
" Ok Nemesis I don't follow you " replied Irons. Nemesis roared and seized a marker from his pocket. He then wrote his story on the side wall. The crowd cheered again. The voting then took place. Irons read the votes.  
" Jill, Jill, Nemesis, Nemesis, Jill, Nemesis,Jill ", Irons paused and read the last vote.  
" JILL! JILL WINS THE GAME NOW I CAN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! ". Samus started her fireworks show before being carried off by Master Chief. Thousands of cheers went up as Jill did her victory dance.

Thx to all my reviewers.  
Finally this story is finished. Look for my next story in the Metroid Section titled In the Galaxy's service.  
Without the reviewer support I could not have written this story. Thanks again.

Grom267


End file.
